Yesterday I posted an entry concerning the memories and synchronicity that had been manifesting around me. (You can read that here: http://grace-in-search-of-grace.blogspot.com/2014/07/dog-gone.html )
I was at a loss as to why this was coming up now
Well, this morning I had a sort of epiphany.
In addition to the dog videos that have come across my path, there have also been a number of recent cases where I have been asked to assist in the re-homing of a pet.
The most recent was just this morning, in fact.
Now, I don't really consider myself to be an Animal Activist, but one thing that deeply saddens me is the thought of an animal being unwanted. Without getting into the reasons behind this (that's for another entry!) I resonate strongly with that feeling.
Looking back on this, I realized that there was, indeed, a connection
to the processing that I began not too long ago. So now, it is clear
that the thought of an unwanted animal really ties into my own feelings
of abandonment. After all, what is more forsaken than a companion
animal who is taken into a home with the inherent obligation that that
action includes a life-time of love and care, only to be left by the people it loves.
I've seen
stories and videos of companion animals living in the garage next to the
house they used to live in for as long as two years, waiting for their deceased owners to return.
I do not know if animals are capable of the kind of processing
necessary to understand and integrate the experience, but I'm sure that the loss does not go unnoticed.
The memory that came up is all tangled up in the feelings of abandonment/forsaken/unwanted/bereft-and, perhaps not-so coincidentally, all these words have come up in my journal work in recent weeks.
I find that I have a passion for connecting abandoned companion animals with new owners who will Love them. Obviously, in doing that, I am attempting to ameliorate some of my own energetic baggage.
The experience with my neighbor's dog coming up at this time, also makes sense to me now.
As humans, we do not really possess a "thinking body" until we are about
8 years old. Before that age, we simply feel, and sometimes as we get
older, we are left with memories that consist of feelings and emotions
but have no real words associated with them.
The current "Me" has the sophistication to understand that it may be gentler and more loving to let an animal go. There are pain and quality of life issues that need to be addressed, and I can deal with that now.
But, the 7 year old "Then Me" did not have those intellectual resources.
As far as I knew, Duffy was taken away because he was old. I didn't see why that was necessary-my grandparents were old, and nobody was taking *them* away. I must have found it terribly unfair. I must have thought that he was simply unwanted, and that it was tragic to be put out simply for that reason when *I* sure wanted him.
I guess it's a good thing for something that I had obviously shut out for so long to come up for integration.
I guess it's a good thing to have just that much more understanding of why I do things the way I do.
I guess it's a good thing to become more familiar with who I really am.
I guess I have reasons now to be grateful for those experiences which led to it all.
Sooo.....
Godspeed Duffy, King, Dukey, Shoep, Je-ju, Mitsy, Bell, Snowball, Zephyr, and all the others.
And, Thank you.
Friday, July 18, 2014
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Dog-gone.
I'm sure there is a reason for this, but frankly, that doesn't make it any easier.
Lately, I've been spending a lot of time trying some techniques for integration. (If in the unlikelyevent , you don't know what I mean, watch this:) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3V_Gtfr_YA&list=PLoME_J8FevCD481r3UzlI7tdd1i3WsqBt&feature=player_embedded
One thing that gets mentioned a lot is that while involved in a process like this, old memories come up; and the occasional suppressed memory tags along for the ride.
I'm an animal activist, and recently, Synchronicity has put two videos in front of my face, both about dogs and their bond with their owners when the dog becomes ill and must leave this life. One was about a dog named "Dukey" and another about a dog named "Shoep". You can probablyfind them online if you really want to.
As if *that* wasn't enough to make me cry-and it did.
A lot-
Continuously.
Emotionally.
You get the point...
I remembered something from my childhood.
I was not allowed to have pets as a child, though I wanted one desperately. I became close to the dog across the street, a yellow lab named Duffy, and I visited him almost every day. His owner, Mrs. Olen, was anelderly woman and she was always very kind to me.
One day, when I was about 7, I remember getting into my mother's car, with Mrs. Olen and Duffy in the back seat. This was unusual as animals were never allowed in thecars .
I have a veryclear vision of looking over my shoulder into Duffy's eyes and asking what was going on. My mother said we were taking Duffy to the vet, and she wouldn't say anything else.
I don't remember a single thing about that day aside from those 3 minutes although I'm sure I must have gone to the vet and waited with my mother to drive Mrs. Olen (and presumably, Duffy) home but search as I might, I cannot recall it.
But I am certain now, because the feelings I felt watching these two videos were identical to the feelings I felt when Duffy suddenly wasn't across the street any more, that it was on that day years ago that we took Duffy to be put to sleep.
I think I disassociated from the grief I must have felt then, and guess what guys! It's coming up NOW in the aftermath of having come across those two videos.
Poor Duffy. Maybe if I had had the strength to remain focused at the time, I might have made his transition easier, I might have said goodbye, I might have had some closure.
But I didn't.
Just *why* this memory is apparently so important to relive isn't clear, but it's apparent that there is a lesson in there somewhere. What might you tell that child who was in the car, with a good friend about to die, and wasn't aware enough to be of any help?
It has been a really rough and raw couple of days-does anyone have any insight into this?
Lately, I've been spending a lot of time trying some techniques for integration. (If in the unlikely
One thing that gets mentioned a lot is that while involved in a process like this, old memories come up; and the occasional suppressed memory tags along for the ride.
I'm an animal activist, and recently, Synchronicity has put two videos in front of my face, both about dogs and their bond with their owners when the dog becomes ill and must leave this life. One was about a dog named "Dukey" and another about a dog named "Shoep". You can probably
As if *that* wasn't enough to make me cry-and it did.
A lot-
Continuously.
Emotionally.
You get the point...
I remembered something from my childhood.
I was not allowed to have pets as a child, though I wanted one desperately. I became close to the dog across the street, a yellow lab named Duffy, and I visited him almost every day. His owner, Mrs. Olen, was an
One day, when I was about 7, I remember getting into my mother's car, with Mrs. Olen and Duffy in the back seat. This was unusual as animals were never allowed in the
I have a very
I don't remember a single thing about that day aside from those 3 minutes although I'm sure I must have gone to the vet and waited with my mother to drive Mrs. Olen (and presumably, Duffy) home but search as I might, I cannot recall it.
But I am certain now, because the feelings I felt watching these two videos were identical to the feelings I felt when Duffy suddenly wasn't across the street any more, that it was on that day years ago that we took Duffy to be put to sleep.
I think I disassociated from the grief I must have felt then, and guess what guys! It's coming up NOW in the aftermath of having come across those two videos.
Poor Duffy. Maybe if I had had the strength to remain focused at the time, I might have made his transition easier, I might have said goodbye, I might have had some closure.
But I didn't.
Just *why* this memory is apparently so important to relive isn't clear, but it's apparent that there is a lesson in there somewhere. What might you tell that child who was in the car, with a good friend about to die, and wasn't aware enough to be of any help?
It has been a really rough and raw couple of days-does anyone have any insight into this?
Saturday, May 24, 2014
What?!?! And give up Show Business????
All people act in perfect accordance to their perceived reality, however, the reality perceived by two different people is rarely identical.
If the changes we make in our lives address only the surface symptoms instead of the causation of the pain, those symptoms will reappear.
For example, the issues that caused us to leave one situation (ending a relationship, switching jobs, etc.) will simply resurface in the new circumstances.
It is the addressing of issues by making surface changes, along with the existence of a conflicted state (A state judged as negative by the person experiencing it), that people label as "Drama". But, in using this term, we are invalidating someone else's personal experience.
Individuals are not always acting out just to attract attention. There is always something at the root of the behavior, and invalidating their feelings actually indicates that there is a blocked emotion within ourselves.
But this isn't really about "them"
Why?
Because by feeling that we have to somehow act against another for their actions, or by assigning a validity to the person via judgment, we see that we have our own resistance to the issue-and,what we resist persists on an energetic/vibrational level, because the Universe will responds to the *attention* (negative and positive) to the "thing".
To paraphrase the teachings of Abraham-Hicks;
" When you say yes, please, I want X; the Universe sends you X.
And when you say I want *not* X; the Universe sends you X."
This will attract more people into our lives who we label as "Drama Queens".
So, as always, the answer to removing the "drama" from our lives rests within ourselves and within our willingness to discover what is at the root of *our* prejudices and opinions.
Simply put, if we reject the Drama in others, it is because we have seen that tendency within our own psyche and dislike it there.
It can be said that the problem of dramatic people in our lives can be addressed by a surface measure, ie, ending communication with them, moving away. But unless the root of our own sensitivity is discovered, inspiring those surface measures from a place of Love and awareness (I accept you and choose not to give energy to that issue vs. I have to teach you a lesson and I dislike YOU -because you remind me too much of me and what I'm fighting to suppress in my own nature--so I'm cutting you off); there will always be another one.
If the changes we make in our lives address only the surface symptoms instead of the causation of the pain, those symptoms will reappear.
For example, the issues that caused us to leave one situation (ending a relationship, switching jobs, etc.) will simply resurface in the new circumstances.
It is the addressing of issues by making surface changes, along with the existence of a conflicted state (A state judged as negative by the person experiencing it), that people label as "Drama". But, in using this term, we are invalidating someone else's personal experience.
Individuals are not always acting out just to attract attention. There is always something at the root of the behavior, and invalidating their feelings actually indicates that there is a blocked emotion within ourselves.
But this isn't really about "them"
Why?
Because by feeling that we have to somehow act against another for their actions, or by assigning a validity to the person via judgment, we see that we have our own resistance to the issue-and,what we resist persists on an energetic/vibrational level, because the Universe will responds to the *attention* (negative and positive) to the "thing".
To paraphrase the teachings of Abraham-Hicks;
" When you say yes, please, I want X; the Universe sends you X.
And when you say I want *not* X; the Universe sends you X."
This will attract more people into our lives who we label as "Drama Queens".
So, as always, the answer to removing the "drama" from our lives rests within ourselves and within our willingness to discover what is at the root of *our* prejudices and opinions.
Simply put, if we reject the Drama in others, it is because we have seen that tendency within our own psyche and dislike it there.
It can be said that the problem of dramatic people in our lives can be addressed by a surface measure, ie, ending communication with them, moving away. But unless the root of our own sensitivity is discovered, inspiring those surface measures from a place of Love and awareness (I accept you and choose not to give energy to that issue vs. I have to teach you a lesson and I dislike YOU -because you remind me too much of me and what I'm fighting to suppress in my own nature--so I'm cutting you off); there will always be another one.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Spiritual Evolution in Personal Relationships; or, Give Me A Bananna
One must evolve in order to stay happy in a relationship long term. This ability is essential for two reasons. Well, to be honest it's more than 2, but we'll just look at the two most important ones.
Every aspect of your relationship with others will change over time.
Every.
Aspect.
The reasons that brought you together initially may continue to exist, or they may disappear, and without the ability to let go and remain flexible, a person can begin to focus on the loss and in doing so will miss the burgeoning positive aspects of that same relationship. Remember, continual focus on the negative brings more negative to light.
That being said, it takes a great deal of strength to let go of expectations.
I'm not talking about a level of performance you aspire to attract in others-I'm talking about those things that you know and count on happening from day to day.
There is an old proverb that goes; "Better the Devil that you do know than the Devil that you don't." , and it means, in general, that given the choice, people tend to opt for familiarity over relief. That means that even if a situation is unpleasant; one will remain involved in it because it is familiar and all the variables are known. I'm sure it doesn't take a genius to see how this applies to relationships.
Personally, I believe that the one thing a person dislikes more than a negative quality about something, is to be surprised by it. It is those who are able to see through the illusion of circumstance and assign other meanings (or no meanings) to them are the ones who will be best able to remain stable while disruption occurs around them.
Simply said, becoming comfortable in handling the unexpected is a sign of Spiritual Growth/Evolution.
Personal growth makes it easier to become comfortable in handling the unexpected, which leads to your ability to remain unattached to a particular outcome, which leads to less stress when things change around you.
The other reason that one must evolve in order to stay happy has to do with the reality of any relationship with another.
Any relationship you experience is actually a single facet of your relationship with yourself. We become involved in a relationship to study specific aspects of our own selves-be it passion, broken-ness, pain, talent; it is all related back to the self in terms of likeness (i.e. "This person is like me-I also have this quality" or "This person is not like me-I do not have this quality") Even though we are noticing that a quality is missing in ourselves with relation to the other person, ultimately we must still focus on ourselves in order to notice that the quality is missing.
OK
That was confusing. Let's try this:
You are green and your friend is orange. In order to realize that your orange friend is different from the green you, you must know that you are green.
In order to do that, you have to look at YOURSELF.
That's better.
Finding acceptance and happiness within yourself is another sign of Spiritual Growth.
Congratulations, by experiencing the same/otherness of another person, you have just identified something about yourself. Committing to a relationship is equal to making a commitment to becoming self-aware. This is why many cultures consider marriage to be a Spiritual state.
If we cannot learn to accept and integrate what we become aware of, we leave portions of our selves attached to a negative emotional charge. Even without a long and involved explanation about the Law of Attraction, how long will you want to stay in a relationship that continually reflects the unliked bits of yourself back at you? And there is a big difference between "I HATE that about myself, I won't do that anymore" and "Well, I know I have a tendency to be that way but it's who I am. But that doesn't mean I have to stay that way."
In many ways, acceptance of self is a form of high Spiritual practice-and it encompasses the ideas of remaining non-judgmental, flexible, centered and the ability to let go of the familiar and non-productive for the productive but non-familiar.
In other words;
Evolution.
Every aspect of your relationship with others will change over time.
Every.
Aspect.
The reasons that brought you together initially may continue to exist, or they may disappear, and without the ability to let go and remain flexible, a person can begin to focus on the loss and in doing so will miss the burgeoning positive aspects of that same relationship. Remember, continual focus on the negative brings more negative to light.
That being said, it takes a great deal of strength to let go of expectations.
I'm not talking about a level of performance you aspire to attract in others-I'm talking about those things that you know and count on happening from day to day.
There is an old proverb that goes; "Better the Devil that you do know than the Devil that you don't." , and it means, in general, that given the choice, people tend to opt for familiarity over relief. That means that even if a situation is unpleasant; one will remain involved in it because it is familiar and all the variables are known. I'm sure it doesn't take a genius to see how this applies to relationships.
Personally, I believe that the one thing a person dislikes more than a negative quality about something, is to be surprised by it. It is those who are able to see through the illusion of circumstance and assign other meanings (or no meanings) to them are the ones who will be best able to remain stable while disruption occurs around them.
Simply said, becoming comfortable in handling the unexpected is a sign of Spiritual Growth/Evolution.
Personal growth makes it easier to become comfortable in handling the unexpected, which leads to your ability to remain unattached to a particular outcome, which leads to less stress when things change around you.
The other reason that one must evolve in order to stay happy has to do with the reality of any relationship with another.
Any relationship you experience is actually a single facet of your relationship with yourself. We become involved in a relationship to study specific aspects of our own selves-be it passion, broken-ness, pain, talent; it is all related back to the self in terms of likeness (i.e. "This person is like me-I also have this quality" or "This person is not like me-I do not have this quality") Even though we are noticing that a quality is missing in ourselves with relation to the other person, ultimately we must still focus on ourselves in order to notice that the quality is missing.
OK
That was confusing. Let's try this:
You are green and your friend is orange. In order to realize that your orange friend is different from the green you, you must know that you are green.
In order to do that, you have to look at YOURSELF.
That's better.
Finding acceptance and happiness within yourself is another sign of Spiritual Growth.
Congratulations, by experiencing the same/otherness of another person, you have just identified something about yourself. Committing to a relationship is equal to making a commitment to becoming self-aware. This is why many cultures consider marriage to be a Spiritual state.
If we cannot learn to accept and integrate what we become aware of, we leave portions of our selves attached to a negative emotional charge. Even without a long and involved explanation about the Law of Attraction, how long will you want to stay in a relationship that continually reflects the unliked bits of yourself back at you? And there is a big difference between "I HATE that about myself, I won't do that anymore" and "Well, I know I have a tendency to be that way but it's who I am. But that doesn't mean I have to stay that way."
In many ways, acceptance of self is a form of high Spiritual practice-and it encompasses the ideas of remaining non-judgmental, flexible, centered and the ability to let go of the familiar and non-productive for the productive but non-familiar.
In other words;
Evolution.
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