5/20/16 New Update

I read an article the other day written by a man who had lost a cat. (you can read that article here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-zadoorian/there-is-nothing-inappropriate-grieving-cat_b_9954564.html)

This man felt that he was grieving excessively over his loss. He said that men were perceived as weak for crying over a the death of a pet, and so he had not only the force of his sadness to deal with, but the feelings of shame over having those feelings.

As I read his words, I realized I was experiencing the same vicious cycle.
I certainly don't think that the strength of my grief is in any way inappropriate, these were my *friends* after all, but I do harbor a certain reluctance to talk about it because I'm afraid that people will think somehow less of me for it. So far, nobody has come to me and said "Let it go Grace, they were just cats. Why aren't you over this yet???" But every time I post one of these updates, some part of me is waiting for that response from my readers.

A few years ago, someone asked me why they weren't "over something" from their recent past. They went on to say that they felt abandoned by some of their friends for "not getting over it fast enough". If I were in the same room with the man who wrote the article, I would tell him the same thing that I told my friend; "Grief is a very individual thing-specific to, and different for, each person. Your grief is your grief-nobody else can know it, nobody else has the strengths and challenges that you have. Nobody has your history or your exact perspective.
They are not qualified to judge, so go through it at your own speed; you'll reach the end when you're ready.
In other words, it will take as long as it takes, but fortunately not one minute longer. "

Follow my own advice?
I'm working on it.

Time is running out! I'll be closing this campaign down at the end of June-if you can help out, NOW is the time! Your generosity can get me that much closer to the goal before I'm forced to give up and go it alone.

If you cannot give at this time, or if you have already become a part of the extended family, sharing this update will also help get the word out!
As always, thank you for reading!

Much Love
Grace

They say that triumph grows out of tragedy if you let it.
I have to admit, I'm hard-pressed to find the silver lining in the storm clouds of the month, but I decided that today I was going to go looking.

The first thing that comes to mind is that losing Kramer and Meko put me in touch with some wonderful people, some of whom will remain friends in the future.
Dozens of people, whether they could donate or not, took the time to contact me and express their support for what I was doing.
Whether we're related by blood or not, there is some feeling of family between pet owners. We understand the pain that stems from the loss of our friends, and that gives us a special understanding when it comes to comforting each other.
I think that in comforting me, some of these people found a measure of comfort for themselves. I like to think that Meko and Kramer had a hand in a lot of healing for a lot of people-not just me.

Losing Kramer and Meko also gave me a deeper appreciation for my two-legged loved ones.
We accept our pets for who they are. If they're grumpy, we chuckle affectionately and say, "well, that's my boy." Why don't we do that with people? Why do we lose patience with them?
One thing I always made sure of was to tell Meko and Kramer that I loved them every day. Each morning when they went out to sit on the porch came a conversation that went kind of like this,

"Be good boy! Be nice to each other, stay out of the road! I love you!"

I was the only one talking, of course, but losing them made me think of the other people in my life who I might lose at any moment. What was the last thing I said to them?
I think that from now on, I'm going to be able to answer that question much more easily.


Again, I'm reminded of just how UN-important most stuff is-as I gather items I haven't laid eyes on in years to sell off for these bills. Fighting for disability years ago gave me a good lesson in this. How many times have we said, "I have to have/I can't live without this".
Well, the truth is, you can.
All the "things" I had didn't keep them safe, and I would rather have my boys back than keep any other "thing" in my life. I think that the ability to let things go with joy is the key to letting other things in. Whatever happens, I'll appreciate the reminder.

I won't keep you guys any longer, this has already turned out to be more than I had intended.
That being said, please remember us. I still have a long way to go before I wrap this up in June. Shares are appreciated too.
Much Love
Grace

Happy Thanksgiving.
As children, those of my generation were taught a story of Thanksgiving that included friendly, buckle-wearing Pilgrims and kindly, warm-hearted "Indians".
As I grew older, however, I learned that "history" is most often written by the winners and that there is always more to the story.
European settlers, and indeed, all conquering nations, portrayed their history in accordance with what are called "The Three Gs" of history, Gold, God and Glory; often d...istorting, ignoring or denying elements that they felt did not support their point of view.
We now know that many of those elements had to do with tremendous suffering and loss sustained by the Native American nations.
So, in my mind the historical basis for the holiday we celebrate today does not really exist.

As a result, over the years, I have not celebrated this day as the commemoration of a historical event, but with the belief and hope that, as a species, we can move forward in our understanding and acceptance of each other. Each year on this day, I remember what humanity is capable of, and I use that realization to reinforce my commitment to becoming a more compassionate, more loving, and more forgiving human being.
Letting go of the past does not mean we forget the sacrifices and pain of our ancestors. Nor does it minimize the tragedy of those forced to endure cruel and unfair treatment at the hands of their oppressors.
Instead, it honors their sacrifice as the gift that it is, enabling us to use that sacrifice as a catalyst for future change which ensures that no other being will ever have to experience that loss again.
It is crucial that people of ALL nations honor the Spirit of our culture and heritage in our hearts, with an eye towards the future, and the goal of creating anew and strengthening our ties to each other *as we are now*.
So, with that in mind, I say "Happy Thanksgiving"-may we all give thanks that Love and Understanding are still a part of this world. May we give thanks to those who strive for the betterment of all Souls. May we give thanks for the clarity that comes with perspective.
But, most of all, may we give thanks for each other; for the diversity that makes us endlessly fascinating, for the strengths and challenges that we all face and for the lessons that these things teach us about ourselves.
May you all have a peaceful Thanksgiving.

-Grace