Tell Yourself What You Want To Hear; An Exercise

Continuing the theme of letting people know more about the kinds of things I still struggle with; I have to admit that sometimes, I look to outside sources for validation.
Bad Shaman!

Even a lot of people who don't study this stuff know (most of the time) that our happiness has to come from inside of us.

The Universe does not supply you with happiness, it only reflects the happiness that you find already within yourself.
Consider the Bible, Luke 17:21, "nor will people say, 'Here it is,' or 'There it is,' because the kingdom of God is within you."
Or this one;
"All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, We make our world." - Buddha

They are both saying the same thing.
Well, the Universe is a pretty literal place and so if you think that you're not happy because you lack something from the outside, the All-That-Is will take that as a statement of fact and-poof!-you will exist as NOT HAPPY and LACKING something from the outside!
This may sound counter-intuitive to many of you but the ancient Wisdom understood that what you see as "reality" is really only a mirror of what is inside of you. Instead of looking to others to tell you what you want to hear to make you happy, tell yourself. Tell yourself enough times that you believe it because the only person's recognition you need is your own. If you don't believe in yourself, you may find temporary validation outside-say, via a lover or a family member, but it won't last and it will never be enough.
I know this. And yet, I still find myself wanting my friends, or family, or Lover to be proud of me. I want them to tell me all the nifty little things I want to hear, and I still fool myself into believing that I'll be happy when I hear them. And I still catch myself comparing myself to others and thinking "I'd be happy, if only...".

So...

I happened to mention all this to someone, wondering about how to reach inside myself and pull out these feelings and his reply was,
"What do you want to hear?"
So I thought about that, and wrote it in my journal.
I started with "I love you." (that seemed as good a place as any to start)
But the phrase "I love you" sounds a bit silly when you say it to yourself, and it was still something that I thought of someone else saying to me.  So I rewrote it.  "I love me".  That seemed a little closer but still "outside myself" so I brought it in a little closer.
"I am worthy of love."
Now I thought I was on the right track.  That didn't depend on anyone else to provide something for me.
So I ran with it.
(Inside comment)  "I am worthy of Love."
(outside comment) "People show that they love me every day."
(Inside comment) "I experience love every day."
(outside comment) "I enjoy being loved."
(inside comment) "I enjoy loving."
(outside comment) "People love me the way I want to be loved."
(inside comment) "I am loved the way I want to be loved"

And I alternated back and forth, taking a moment to feel the energy of each phrase and how it differed from inside to outside.  (here's a hint; the outside comments made a tightness in my chest and the inside comments tended to create an expansive, relaxed feeling)
It may be different for you.

I ended that list when I felt I was straining to come up with things and moved onto the next phrase.
"I'm proud of you."
"I'm proud of me."
"I'm proud of who I am."
(outside) "I like it when people are proud of me."
(inside) "I take pride in what I do."
(outside) "I work hard to satisfy others."
(inside) "I experience satisfaction for a job well done."

I admit, this was a short list, but it was a start-and I'm proud of myself :)

The last one I worked on today was, "You make me happy."
"I make me happy."
(inside) "I choose to be happy."
(outside) "I have reasons to be happy all around me."
(inside) "I deserve to be happy."
(outside) "I know the Universe wants me to be happy."
(inside) "I accept happiness."
(inside) "My natural state is to be happy."

What do you do with a list like this?
Well....

A belief is just a habit of thought-a thought you keep thinking.  Once a thought becomes a habit, it becomes a belief. 
Let me take a second to clarify something.  We can know something is irrational when we think it-we know it isn't really a "belief"-but all thoughts carry vibrations and a negative thought that you keep thinking puts out vibrations too. So for the purposes of this post I'm treating them as beliefs because they will also cause reflections in the world around you even though intellectually you may understand that it's just a recurring thought.


This is just a way to "fine tune" your thoughts.  There is really no difference between inside or outside thoughts other than your outside thoughts are more dependent on forces which are perceived as coming from a source that is outside of (i.e. NOT) yourself.  (Many Shamans refer to this as "giving away your power" because it puts the results you want in the hands of others.)  But if this is where you start until you figure out what works best for you, then so be it.  There is still a LOT of value in finding things in your reality to appreciate, Love, experience, etc. even if they are in your environment. 

So...
I said what I had to say; expression makes me happy, happiness is my natural state.
Nothing else matters.
:)