The reason it ends is sometimes the same reason it began

I believe that experience is the best teacher, and I have been criticized in  the past for drawing from personal experience which resulted in writing that the was "too personal" or uncomfortable to read. 
Good. 
If it strikes a chord in the reader, then it stands a better chance of making the reader think.  That is the mission of a teacher, and I'm not afraid of the possibility of making myself look a little worse to help someone else become a little better.  That being said;

I lost the love of my life today.

 Not like it wasn’t expected, and this relationship has been dragging on and off really for the last year anyway but this morning it ended abruptly, with a phone call- his choice.   

But…

I’m a tuned-in, turned on, tapped in member of the Leading Edge of Creation!  Doesn’t this fly in the face of all those Universal laws?  I’m good at what I do!  I’m a Shaman!  How did this happen, then? 

Well, I took a look at the kinds of things I was putting out to the Universe when we first met 4 years ago. 

In 2009 I was made homeless by a flood, diagnosed with COPD, lost my job; and had a minor stroke.  So I was a mess, it’s no surprise looking back that the worst of my own characteristics came back to me in the form of this person (and others) as that was my dominant vibration. 
It worked at the time because we were both angry and carried a mostly pessimistic view of the world.  I spent a lot of time trying to stay in that vibration because I wanted to resonate with him, I “wanted it to work”, and that attracted things and people that were even worse.  It was not pretty, there was anger, jealousy, blame, suspicion, neediness and more.  I'm not proud of who I was.

Then, I discovered the teachings of Abraham, and Bashar and several others, it made sense to me;  so I chose to work on my vibration.  Those teachings did not appeal to him, and so the result was that his vibration stayed the same.  This was his choice and he has every right to it.  
But even after I began my serious vibration work, he couldn’t see me in any other way.  He and I were the strongest of mirrors, and everything negative I put out seemed to come back with a fury from this man, but he didn't reflect back "the good stuff" as I was putting it out there. In vibrational work it is said that one cannot percieve the vibration of what they are not.
I tried to buck the current of what he expected from me, but he was too strong and we just kept pulling this stuff out of each other. We sunk, in a manner of speaking, to our lowest common vibration. He interpreted everything in the worst possible light.  All the *other* stuff I had attracted, the other people and the other situations eventually cleared away, so I knew it was working.  But he stuck around and we still interacted like water and sodium no matter how hard I tried.  So his anger, the anger that originally brought him into my life, got the better of him.  He used that old vibration to focus on and reinforce the worst possible view of reality, and he ended the relationship.  He treated me as though I was the way I was when I met him.

But…

I wasn't that person any more.  I haven’t been that person for 2 years now. 

So what had kept him in my sphere all this time- in spite of all our attempts to separate, and why did it happen today?

I think that it has something to do with this:  about 3 days ago, I finally made the connection that everything around me is a reflection.  II sort of knew it then, but now I really REALLY finally put it together.
So I understood that there was something in me (and in his reality, there is something in him) that was still reflecting something back to me.  I had changed the overall vibration so it couldn't have been that-so what then?
I took a good look at myself, and after some soul-searching, I decided that I had done the best I could and made the conscious choice to forgive myself for my behavior over the years.  (Thank you to Don Miguel Ruiz and Eckhart Tolle whose works I have recently found)  I had forgiven him long ago but this time, it was for *me*.  And on that day I felt my vibration rise to a higher level than it had been before, and stay there.
You see, it was with that action, I let go of the last vestiges of the old vibration and in doing so, gave it the release it needed to finally end.  Being such a perfect mirror as he is, he picked up on it and said goodbye right away.

But...
A strange thing happened.
After I did that, I realized that this relationship would not have worked with him, as he is, anyway.
And that's OK.
As he is now, he will be drawn to individuals that are more like he is now; Maybe more like I was then. He simply isn't capable of reflecting me as I am now.  I know why he couldn't see me.  And that's OK.  He is the best mirror I've ever known and I'm sure there will be many more who need to learn the lessons he can provide at the frequency at which he provides them.
But *I* am waking up to something different. 
For me, there will be different people- and that's OK.   As he is now, we do not resonate and that’s OK.  As he is now, he will not hear anything I have to say anyway.   Because you cannot percieve a thing that you are not the vibration of.
And that's OK.

As he is now, I Love him. But I know that though he is in my heart; he no longer belongs in my life.  And that is fine.
Nobody failed here.  The Laws of the Universe are intact and working perfectly. 

And…

I'm OK.
Sure, it stings, but I also can’t help but be amazingly grateful for this experience.   What a magnificent Soulmate he is to have taught me so much!  How fearless he was to reflect back to me everything I needed to know, no matter how unpleasant or painful.  Even though I know he doesn't understand this in his physical form, what a gift he gave me from Spirit when he agreed to do this.  How lucky I was to have someone as funny, smart, handsome, giving, selfless, truthful and worldly.   I may have started writing today with tears of sadness, but now they are a great flowing stream of appreciation and I shed them in his honor, and in mine. 
I know it was a good experience.  I've recieved the benefit of clarity and I'm expanding!  I can see the positive aspects of this, and I'm really challenged to find a negative one!
That's how I know I've truly changed.

Looking back on the past three days, I can see how , with so many things to be enthusiastic about, as my vibrational work had really picked up momentum in other areas of my life; the one thing that didn’t fit was…well…for lack of a better word “ejected” from my life. It's no longer the shock it was.

I understand why it happened now, I take it as a sign of great progress.  There is something better coming. I have been honing the idea of what I really want all this time  My vibration is purer than it has ever been before.  I'll be attracting people who are at this new vibration, they're already showing up!  What is on the way is much better and fuller and more complete than what has passed, and when it comes it will be spectacular!
I have him to thank for that. 

So...

Thank you, Be happy, Be well.  I Love you. Namaste.