A New Beginning

I have always had what I call a very "plastic" brain; by that I mean a mind that slips easily between paradigms of thinking. I begin to see through the filter of those other ways very quickly without losing my ability to relate to my prior position. I think this natural flexibility of belief this is the true definition of what Shamans call "walking in different worlds" and is what caused me to gravitate towards the study of shamanism in the first place.
I still call myself a Shaman, because I see the term as the closest definition to what I have become, but recently, a series of personal changes (and choices) has left me at a bit of a loss in terms of a defining paradigm. Contrary to what you might think, and indeed contrary to how I would have thought about it before, I'm finding that it's just fine with me! I do not mourn the end of an "identity", I celebrate the integration of my many facets into a more complete and effective Human Being.
I'm still writing stories, with plans to publish them in E-book form in the near future, but you will find other information here too. I believe that those who need to find this information will find it. I hope that something about my own personal journey speaks to you, and helps you to unravel some of the mystery of your own Life.
Thank you for reading!
-Grace

(just a reminder, all material and stories are copyrighted)
Showing posts with label consciousness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label consciousness. Show all posts

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Dog-gone.

I'm sure there is a reason for this, but frankly, that doesn't make it any easier.

Lately, I've been spending a lot of time trying some techniques for integration. (If in the unlikely event, you don't know what I mean, watch this:)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3V_Gtfr_YA&list=PLoME_J8FevCD481r3UzlI7tdd1i3WsqBt&feature=player_embedded



One thing that gets mentioned a lot is that while involved in a process like this, old memories come up; and the occasional suppressed memory tags along for the ride.
I'm an animal activist, and recently, Synchronicity has put two videos in front of my face, both about dogs and their bond with their owners when the dog becomes ill and must leave this life. One was about a dog named "Dukey" and another about a dog named "Shoep". You can probably find them online if you really want to.

As if *that* wasn't enough to make me cry-and it did.
A lot-
Continuously.
Emotionally.
You get the point...
I remembered something from my childhood.
I was not allowed to have pets as a child, though I wanted one desperately. I became close to the dog across the street, a yellow lab named Duffy, and I visited him almost every day. His owner, Mrs. Olen, was an elderly woman and she was always very kind to me.
One day, when I was about 7, I remember getting into my mother's car, with Mrs. Olen and Duffy in the back seat. This was unusual as animals were never allowed in the cars.
I have a very clear vision of looking over my shoulder into Duffy's eyes and asking what was going on. My mother said we were taking Duffy to the vet, and she wouldn't say anything else.
I don't remember a single thing about that day aside from those 3 minutes although I'm sure I must have gone to the vet and waited with my mother to drive Mrs. Olen (and presumably, Duffy) home but search as I might, I cannot recall it.

But I am certain now, because the feelings I felt watching these two videos were identical to the feelings I felt when Duffy suddenly wasn't across the street any more, that it was on that day years ago that we took Duffy to be put to sleep.

I think I disassociated from the grief I must have felt then, and guess what guys! It's coming up NOW in the aftermath of having come across those two videos.
Poor Duffy. Maybe if I had had the strength to remain focused at the time, I might have made his transition easier, I might have said goodbye, I might have had some closure.
But I didn't.

Just *why* this memory is apparently so important to relive isn't clear, but it's apparent that there is a lesson in there somewhere. What might you tell that child who was in the car, with a good friend about to die, and wasn't aware enough to be of any help?
It has been a really rough and raw couple of days-does anyone have any insight into this?


Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Tell Yourself What You Want To Hear; An Exercise


Continuing the theme of letting people know more about the kinds of things I still struggle with; I have to admit that sometimes, I look to outside sources for validation.
Bad Shaman!

Even a lot of people who don't study this stuff know (most of the time) that our happiness has to come from inside of us.

The Universe does not supply you with happiness, it only reflects the happiness that you find already within yourself.
Consider the Bible, Luke 17:21, "nor will people say, 'Here it is,' or 'There it is,' because the kingdom of God is within you."
Or this one;
"All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, We make our world." - Buddha

They are both saying the same thing.
Well, the Universe is a pretty literal place and so if you think that you're not happy because you lack something from the outside, the All-That-Is will take that as a statement of fact and-poof!-you will exist as NOT HAPPY and LACKING something from the outside!
This may sound counter-intuitive to many of you but the ancient Wisdom understood that what you see as "reality" is really only a mirror of what is inside of you. Instead of looking to others to tell you what you want to hear to make you happy, tell yourself. Tell yourself enough times that you believe it because the only person's recognition you need is your own. If you don't believe in yourself, you may find temporary validation outside-say, via a lover or a family member, but it won't last and it will never be enough.
I know this. And yet, I still find myself wanting my friends, or family, or Lover to be proud of me. I want them to tell me all the nifty little things I want to hear, and I still fool myself into believing that I'll be happy when I hear them. And I still catch myself comparing myself to others and thinking "I'd be happy, if only...".

So...

I happened to mention all this to someone, wondering about how to reach inside myself and pull out these feelings and his reply was,
"What do you want to hear?"
So I thought about that, and wrote it in my journal.
I started with "I love you." (that seemed as good a place as any to start)
But the phrase "I love you" sounds a bit silly when you say it to yourself, and it was still something that I thought of someone else saying to me.  So I rewrote it.  "I love me".  That seemed a little closer but still "outside myself" so I brought it in a little closer.
"I am worthy of love."
Now I thought I was on the right track.  That didn't depend on anyone else to provide something for me.
So I ran with it.
(Inside comment)  "I am worthy of Love."
(outside comment) "People show that they love me every day."
(Inside comment) "I experience love every day."
(outside comment) "I enjoy being loved."
(inside comment) "I enjoy loving."
(outside comment) "People love me the way I want to be loved."
(inside comment) "I am loved the way I want to be loved"

And I alternated back and forth, taking a moment to feel the energy of each phrase and how it differed from inside to outside.  (here's a hint; the outside comments made a tightness in my chest and the inside comments tended to create an expansive, relaxed feeling)
It may be different for you.

I ended that list when I felt I was straining to come up with things and moved onto the next phrase.
"I'm proud of you."
"I'm proud of me."
"I'm proud of who I am."
(outside) "I like it when people are proud of me."
(inside) "I take pride in what I do."
(outside) "I work hard to satisfy others."
(inside) "I experience satisfaction for a job well done."

I admit, this was a short list, but it was a start-and I'm proud of myself :)

The last one I worked on today was, "You make me happy."
"I make me happy."
(inside) "I choose to be happy."
(outside) "I have reasons to be happy all around me."
(inside) "I deserve to be happy."
(outside) "I know the Universe wants me to be happy."
(inside) "I accept happiness."
(inside) "My natural state is to be happy."

What do you do with a list like this?
Well....

A belief is just a habit of thought-a thought you keep thinking.  Once a thought becomes a habit, it becomes a belief. 
Let me take a second to clarify something.  We can know something is irrational when we think it-we know it isn't really a "belief"-but all thoughts carry vibrations and a negative thought that you keep thinking puts out vibrations too. So for the purposes of this post I'm treating them as beliefs because they will also cause reflections in the world around you even though intellectually you may understand that it's just a recurring thought.


This is just a way to "fine tune" your thoughts.  There is really no difference between inside or outside thoughts other than your outside thoughts are more dependent on forces which are perceived as coming from a source that is outside of (i.e. NOT) yourself.  (Many Shamans refer to this as "giving away your power" because it puts the results you want in the hands of others.)  But if this is where you start until you figure out what works best for you, then so be it.  There is still a LOT of value in finding things in your reality to appreciate, Love, experience, etc. even if they are in your environment. 

So...
I said what I had to say; expression makes me happy, happiness is my natural state.
Nothing else matters.
:)

Friday, February 08, 2013

On empowerment

"Empowerment is, in part, the ability to look at reality and say 'I know what I want, I deserve what I want, and this isn't it.'; and then walking away because you realize that you don't need it to be happy."
-Grace Gemini

Monday, January 14, 2013

On Being Selfish

"The more you wake up in Life, the more you realize that 'selfish' isn't the negative word you thought it was. You are A Universe of 1; complete, self-contained and infinite. Since everything you see in your world is a reflection of you, the only thing you can do is focus on your own happiness and you will see that happiness reflected back to you in the form of the people and situations around you. So being "selfish" is the first step in helping 'The World' to be at its very best. "
-Grace Gemini

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

The Gift. Happy Holiday's To All


An older story, but still relevant.  I hope you Enjoy it!



A little boy sat on the living room floor with legs crossed, deep in thought.
Colorful scraps of paper, glittering confetti and curling ribbon attached to pieces of Scotch tape lay crumpled and strewn in chaotic piles around his knees. He stretched out a slippered foot and sullenly kicked at a bit of the stuff, turning it
over with his toes. The call of discarded wrapping paper shown red, green and gold. It glimmered cheerily in the lights of the tree and the fireplace, but did nothing to brighten his mood.
Another happily squashed wad of paper landed nearby and the boy looked up to the source of the litter. All the other family members had already opened their presents, and how it was his mother's turn.

"Oh John! It's Beautiful!" she exclaimed with delight. "I have wanted something like this for just the longest time!" She held the box in her hands, lovingly pulled out the expensive bracelet inside and held out her arm to her husband who was
sitting next to her on the couch. "Put it on me, wont you dear?"
The diamonds winked and twinkled on her wrist as her hands moved across the various boxes and packages still arranged in neat piles within easy reach. One by one the festive wrappings were torn away to reveal their wondrous contents. There was a big, fluffy bathrobe with matching slippers in just that shade of blue that matched mother's eyes from sister Amanda. They sat on the boxes of matching note-cards, pen and address book from Grandma which were covered in pansies; his mother's favorite flower.
There were pearl earrings from Aunt Julia, and a new, fine leather brief case from brother Jim. At last there were only two items left. The woman smiled as she reached for a tall, square package; this one wrapped neatly in silver paper covered in blue stars. The box was topped with a loopy blue and silver ribbon so huge that it nearly covered the entire top of the box. The whole family oooooohed and ahhhhed over the magnificent wrapping; but that was nothing compared to their reaction when the box was opened. Inside the beautiful paper, swaddled in confetti and bubble-wrap, was a china plate.
This was not just any porcelain plate, but a very expensive and delicate one. It had cranes painted on it. Oriental ladies fanned themselves and strolled under blossoming cherry trees, across a bridge that spanned a lovely little river. Water lilies floated in the water, and their blooms were painted in colors so delicate that the little boy thought he could almost reach out and pick one. The inside of the plate was creamy white, and the rim was painted in gold that shone brightly in the light of the
fireplace.
"This is too much," said mother. She ran her hand over the edge, taking in the smooth coolness under her fingertips. She turned the plate over in her hands, watching the way the light played across the translucent finish.
"I have never seen anything so beautiful!" she cried. "This is the best Christmas ever!" She stood up and gently lifted the plate and placed it on the mantle in between a pair of silver candlesticks. She stepped back to admire it and smiled. Then she sat down once again and reached for the last present.

This package was different from all the rest. It had a bow made from many bits of different colored yarn that was tied around wrapping paper made from a brown paper grocery bag. Stars and swirls of color were drawn all over the paper in crayon; the artist seemingly determined to use every color in the crayon box. This box was not wrapped as neatly as the others; its corners were not perfectly crisp and the tape stuck out in places. Nevertheless, she lifted it gingerly into her lap and opened it with care.
Inside the rather sorry-looking wrapping was an even sorrier-looking item. It was a pot made of clay.
"What's this?" she asked, lifting the pot from its box and turning it over in her hands. "Is this for me?" The poor little pot was thicker on one side than the other and was painted with bright yellow and orange flowers that could only be described as "noisy". The rim of the pot, if indeed the pot had a rim, was painted blue with yellow spots. There were thumb-prints dried into the bottom and it didn't sit quite straight on the table. It leaned to one side in a way that looked
to the little boy as if the clay had partially melted.  Mother held it out at arm's length, blue eyes scanning the lumpy clay. "Did you make this for me?" she said, smiling to the little boy.
"Yes", he nodded looking nervously at the floor. He had spent a whole afternoon on it. His eyes traveled to the mantle where the china plate sat, gleaming regally.
"But it.s not very good". He said.
"Not very good?! Well I think it.s wonderful." Said mother. She reached out and ruffled the boy's unruly hair. She carried the little pot to the kitchen where she placed it on the table. It wobbled just a little, but otherwise stayed put.

In time the holidays passed as holidays do, and the little boy grew up as little boys do. Through the years, the beautiful china plate with the cranes and ladies on it stayed on the mantle; and the little boy.s mother dusted it once a week. When
people visited, she always took them to see the mantle where the plate stood between the candlesticks.
"This is my beautiful china plate", she told them. "I got it for Christmas but we mustn't use it. It's much too delicate." The company nodded solemnly and moved on.
When the children grew up, and left to start families of their own, Mother and Father decided to move to a smaller house. The beautiful china plate was lovingly and carefully wrapped up in its bubble-wrap and confetti and placed into the new
attic along with the candle sticks, and other boxes filled with photo albums and baby clothes that had long been outgrown. When the little boy, who was not so little any more, came to visit he found the old, lumpy clay pot filled with apples
and sitting on the dining room table. The noisy little flowers were faded now, and somebody had glued a little piece of cork to the bottom so that the pot no longer wobbled. "I didn't think you had kept this", he said thinking sullenly back to that morning with the tree and the china plate, where was that plate anyway?
He looked around.
No plate.
"Oh dear!!" Mother laughed. "I don't know what I'd do without my little clay pot!"
She removed the fruit and turned the pot over lovingly. "It still has your little thumb prints here all over the bottom! This pot used to have all my paper clips in it. Do you remember when it sat on Father's desk?"
The young man nodded.
"And I planted grandma's pansies in it, before they got too big in the Spring."
She went on, "And last Summer we filled it with sand and used it to prop open the
screen door! I kept my gardening supplies in it this Fall and it held down the paper
on my desk when I was working on the Christmas cards. Last week I had it filled
with pens and pencils by the phone! This pot has been the best present I've
ever gotten, and you made it for me all by yourself!"
The young man smiled and put the pot back on the table. He took a bite out of an
apple, then, whistling happily, he followed his mother into the kitchen for something to drink.




Saturday, November 24, 2012

For Those Of You Who Are Becoming Real

FOR THOSE WHO ARE BECOMING REAL:

 “Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit


 
All higher consciousness asks the same question; “Who are you, What are you?”
To answer this, we often begin by applying the appealing qualities of others onto our self-image like a patch on a pair of jeans.  This is who I am.
When we realize that, in spite of our efforts, those parts we emulate in others remain outside ourselves, we begin to search for the qualities that are truly embodied within ourselves.
Sometimes we discover within us the same facets we admired in others; and sometimes not.  But we always feel a little silly when we realize that we have lived life in its most superficial sense.  It is exhausting, because we are taking unto ourselves, the weight of those things that do not belong to us.
There is no shame in this.
We are designed to learn through our associations with others.
It is your experiences that teach you-words do not teach, connections teach.  When you are waking up, and carrying only what truly belongs to you, other connections do not drain you, and you suddenly realize how important those connections truly are.
They become your wings.



Friday, September 21, 2012

A Walmart Tale


Several months ago, while I was sitting on a bench waiting for a friend to complete her shopping at Walmart, I had a chance to chat with a lovely older lady who was sharing my seat.  We discussed our day and it came up in conversation-as it often seems to between perfect strangers and I- that she had been having a bad time recently and I said, ” I’m so sorry to hear that.  Do you have anything pleasant to focus on at all?”  Unfortunately she answered “No.”
So I gave her my bracelet.
It was a silly thing I had made, a coil-wrap wire bracelet with bright beads and charms on it.  It had a little guy in a space suit on one end and a charm of the space shuttle on the other and I chose the beads because they reminded me of planets.  I said, “Well, now you can say that you got a gift from a complete stranger!”  And she smiled.
A few days ago, I was at Walmart again, and a somewhat younger lady was at the pharmacy waiting in line with me for medicine and I happened to look at her wrist and noticed my bracelet.  I asked her where she got it, and she said “My mother gave it to me.  I was having a bad day and she said she got it from an angel on a day when she was having a rough time, and it would make me smile when I looked at it too.”
Everything is working out just the way it’s supposed to.

Sunday, September 09, 2012

The Three Pearls


Goodness only knows how this started--I think it had something to do with watching all those episodes of "The Tudors"
My apologies for the formatting- it's a tad messy.



"Cry me a river." said the Witch Queen to the Elvin King, and he did, which carried them away to distant shores."My heart is your compass", said the king;"Given freely, and without remorse"

Then she kissed him on his kingly brow, her lips were warm against his skin, her love to show for all the world; a golden spark to kindle flames that flickered deep within.

"Your eyes, my stars to guide us by", the Witch Queen lay the words upon the night, "your breath, the winds to fill the sails and that which brings all things to set aright."

And up amidst the roiling, spewing wat'ry coil arose an island bright whereupon the travelers lit and thought to spend the night.The ship which carried them, in which they held great store; brought them safely through the waves, and to the grainy shore.

Wrapped in velvet black of sunless sky, did they lay themselves upon the sand,which served to cradle them as flowers held within a gently curved hand.  And lo- from heaven to softly kiss each sleeping Fey on creaseless brow,did bend the Lady Moon, within whose silver net, the lovers rested now.


Presently, Nature's gentle alchemy turned subtle silver to radiant gold, and great Helios loosed his rays from the vault that was their's, within to hold.On flaming horses drew he, his chariot across the blue which caused the lover's waking world to once again renew.

And from within empty bellies did roar the memory of food, and that which wanted more.  Into the hills they did pass, lock'd arm in arm with heads whispering together in search of that which sustains and grows in places made easier to gather.

Said the Elvin King to his Lady Fair "you are my bounty, and all good things that gods to men do bring" and with these words occurred a strange and marvelous thing; for before them upon a stone which sat atop the fertile ground they did spy,a table strewn with all manner of things in whose design were meant to satisfy.

And there on the table, set to grace the display of Fairy fare,upon a scalloped shell, three pearls of varied hue lay shining there.One of copper, bright as flame, one of silver in Luna's way and the third of gold, and each of a size to match the round wonder in lovers' eyes.

And wonder they did, at the gleaming treasure so then at last, with hunger satisfied according to their pleasure they took for themselves, this regal gift and our Lady secreted the pearls within the bodice of her flowing shift.

But all was not well, for in a tree that grew across the glen, perched a creature with a taste for the riches of mortal men.  And knowing benefit of neither hope nor heart within his hollow chest this wizened being did scheme for ways by which the shining orbs away from the lovers, he might wrest.

With naked hatred did he jump upon the groundand waved his black and twisted arms in circles all around and where his evil, jealous flesh did cast its shadow on the heath another dark and sinister thing would crawl up from its den in reaches underneath.

"I'll have those pearls!" growled the twisted elf intent on taking all the lustrous riches for himself. His gibbering, spitting horde did move to carry out his will and encircle the lovers, now arm in arm though standing defiant still.

So from her gown the Witch Queen brought forth the pearl as red as flame and the Elvin King said "You, black and twisted thing who has no name,can have this pearl, by my leave and without redress, for I would rather have the copper of my lover's curling tresses."

The evil thing held aloft his hand with fingers curled into a dark foreboding ring and made as if from air to catch the luminous thing but as he closed his greedy fist around the pearl of reddish hue suddenly it was a pearl no more and like it's shade in name, did burst into a gout of copper flame.

"What trickery is this!?" he cried, letting loose the elemental sprite upon the ground as dancers dancing, did the fire circle dark and muttering host, on all sides 'round.When burning terpsichorean had gleaned the final stick, and wind had wiped the hillside clean the foul and choking smoke retreated from his eyes to show, the shining couple nowhere to be seen.

Half-mad with fury, taunted by the image of the gem that circumstance had caused him to eschew The greedy gnome said "Very well, if one pearl has been denied me, then I shall have the other two!"So reaching, grasping, clawing, spurred on by crazed ambitions yet to be fulfilled he aimed his forces skyward, ever climbing, driving them with stinging blows and foul curses on to take the summit of the hill.

Three days hence, the loving Fey found themselves upon a rocky ledge above a valley spread below like a length of autumn-colored silk.  A clear view, their vantage point afforded from farthest east to western edge with no sign of twisted goblin or others of his evil ilk.

A river flowed, woven through as a ribbon of blue to hem a lady's gown, along the verdant valley floor and food aplenty leaving them to think they could not have wanted more.But in the misty hours of grey morning, in numbers seemingly without measure they saw the dark and fiendish hordes arrayed along the valley, and intent on gaining their remaining treasure.

Below the ledge, the hateful thing held a vision of the silver pearl before his eyes,and knowing it to be possessed by those whom, in his esteem, there was no equal to despise he stood with legs apart, anchored firmly to his chosen spot, and sent his orders out upon the moving air that they should leave their rocky nest, to bring the pearl unto him while he waited there.

"Give me the pearl of silver" said he with his face a mask of boundless greed,"And should you not comply, your brightness will be ended!" he gleefully decreed.This time, it was the Queen whose words fell like a gentle rain from rocky place above"I would sooner have, than all the silver pearls under Heaven, just one silver tear of joy from him, who is my treasure, and my joy to Love!"

"Take your pearl, and begone!" she said, and drew the jewel from within her gown and with a radiant smile, threw the silver pearl down.And from where it struck, a fountain sprang up tossing water droplets bright high into the sky, to cast a veil of colors across the riverbank as they fell and caught the light.

But much more than this, the water fell and as it ran across the valley, did it join with it's sister, the River, causing it to swell above the tracks which had held it fast,rushing across the land, where the evil horde had passed.

The angry roar of water surged forth in suffocating waves and swept before it, those spiteful goblins who went gasping to their graves.The silver flood spared none, save the twisted thing alone and when he looked to the rocky ledge, his shining quarry, King, Queen and pearl, were gone.

Fled to open spaces, high atop the mountain range,and to its rocky spine whereupon they fell to their knees and called to Spirits both Earthly and Divine"Oh save us from this Evil thing who seeks to settle some imaginary score!"The only sound, the whispering wind who answered not, and nothing more.

‎"You cried me a river," Said the Witch Queen to the Elven King "And it took us here, to distant shining shore.""And dance we did" replied her lover bold"under smiling stars and silver moon, though we knew not how many trials we would face,nor what fickle fate had put aside in store"

And as she smiled, a smile more radiant and rich than ever had before graced the lips of any witch they understood the lesson to be learned so when the Evil thing at last approached, each took the others hand and turned.

‎"Give me the pearl of gold!" the jealous creature spat""And I'll have no more of your spells, I shall not fall for such cruel trickery as that!But pearl in hand, the fey atop the grass did throw and as he reached for it the golden orb began to glow.

"Treasure we have always had!" they looked into each other's eyes as gentle as if speaking to a child, the couple did advise.In unison, they said, "My love is mine, and I am for my love which is valued, and more precious than any earthly trove."

The creature shrieked, for now he understood the greatness of what he would never have the ground beneath him rumbled, then shook and split the great fissure opened up before him and his pearl and swallowed him along with it.

Knowing now that true worth lay within their love and not in precious rings that earthly men covet and, in their greed become twisted evil things.A rainbow formed a sturdy bridge across the sky to be a path for them to follow according to their will and home they went, hand in hand and hearts entwined, and if they have not died, they exist there still.
Fin.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Exercise: What I Like About You

The Universe sends us reflections that match our vibrations.  Consider this list of positive aspects each morning, pausing after each word or a group of words to feel what the word means to you.  If it's a good feeling, keep the word.  If it's a bad feeling, replace the word with something that feels good or eliminate the word altogether. 
Remember, that it's the *feeling* of the word (it's vibration) rather than the word itself that is what will draw the reflection.  When you say the word, does it make you smile?  Do you get a warm, and relaxed feeling in your solar plexus (good feeling) or do you tighten up somewhere, feel angry or sad (bad feeling).  You can have a particular person or circumstance in mind and use words that apply specifically to them.  But remember, you're not trying to "change them", you are trying to add this vibration to your own so that it will come back to you. And yes, if the aspect is not something you have experienced from the situation, you can just make it up-remember, this is what you want reflected back to you.
You can also use lists like this to attract things into your life that you aren't experiencing now. I wanted to stop at 100, but thinking about the situation, I got so caught up in it I had to add more!  I might add to this list from time to time, and feel free to post suggestions in the comments!
(this is taken directly from my journal so please pardon any duplicates, and I'm using this blog entry to actually reinforce the vibrations so thank you for allowing me to do this!)

Then, be aware through your day for reflections of the words coming back in the events, circumstances and behaviors of the people around you, and be sure to record them all!
HAVE FUN!

1. jolly
2. jovial
3. loving
4. caring
5. sweet
6. gentle
7. kind
8. compassionate
9. happy
10. joyful
11. truthful
12. honest
13. open
14. generous
15. giving
16. intelligent
17. educated
18. smart
19. magnetic
20. attractive
21. personable
22. friendly
23. warm
24. genuine
25. patient
26. dedicated
27. devoted
28. loyal
29. focused
30. attentive
31. sensitive
32. stable
33. sure
34. trusting
35. trustworthy
36. beautiful
37. blissful
38. bountiful
39. handsome
40. fun
41. sophisticated
42. worldly
43. spontaneous
44. child-like
45. calm
46. peaceful
47. serene
48. mellow
49. centered
50. balanced
51. content
52. protective
53. supportive
54. sexy
55. sensual
56. demonstrative
57. affectionate
58. charming
59. playful
60. intelligent
61. connected
62. aligned
63. confidant
64. friendly
65. easy going
66. carefree
67. cooperative
68. multi-faceted
69. complex
70. evolving
71. curious
72. artistic
73. talented
74. creative
75. imaginative
76. visionary
77. considerate
78. relaxed
79. refined
80. funny
81. encouraging
82. big hearted
83. grateful
84. appreciative
85. punctual
86. delightful
87. sincere
88. resonant
89. youthful
90. interesting
91. flexible
92. fair
93. innovative
94. resourceful
95. clever
96. romantic
97. in the moment
98. harmonious
99. wise
100. uplifting
101. fascinating
102. enjoyable
103. positive
104. insightful
105. entertaining
106. perfect
107. spiritual
108. responsive
109. competent
110. mature
111. accepting
112. clear
113. enlightened
114. brilliant
115. light-hearted
116. gracious
117. graceful
118. Understanding
119. vibrant
120. vital
121. strong
122. joyous
123. interesting
124. empathic
125. radiant
126. courteous
127. honorable
128. decent
129. comforting
130. tender
131. sympathetic
132. amiable
133. aware
134. helpful
135. vivacious
136. open minded
137. inspiring
138. inspired
139. cheerful
140. intuitive
141. fascinating
142. approachable
143. out-going
144. refreshing
145. optimistic
146. sure
147. versatile
148. forgiving
149. exciting
150. thoughtful
151. witty
152. comforting
153. encouraging
154. soothing

Sunday, August 26, 2012

There is no Hate.

"We Love. We are Love. We can't help but Love, and in a Universe of attraction all the can happen is that we allow Love in our lives or we do not. Hate is the disallowing of Love."
-Grace Gemini

Friday, August 24, 2012

The reason it ends is sometimes the same reason it began


I believe that experience is the best teacher, and I have been criticized in  the past for drawing from personal experience which resulted in writing that the was "too personal" or uncomfortable to read. 
Good. 
If it strikes a chord in the reader, then it stands a better chance of making the reader think.  That is the mission of a teacher, and I'm not afraid of the possibility of making myself look a little worse to help someone else become a little better.  That being said;

I lost the love of my life today.

 Not like it wasn’t expected, and this relationship has been dragging on and off really for the last year anyway but this morning it ended abruptly, with a phone call- his choice.   

But…

I’m a tuned-in, turned on, tapped in member of the Leading Edge of Creation!  Doesn’t this fly in the face of all those Universal laws?  I’m good at what I do!  I’m a Shaman!  How did this happen, then? 

Well, I took a look at the kinds of things I was putting out to the Universe when we first met 4 years ago. 

In 2009 I was made homeless by a flood, diagnosed with COPD, lost my job; and had a minor stroke.  So I was a mess, it’s no surprise looking back that the worst of my own characteristics came back to me in the form of this person (and others) as that was my dominant vibration. 
It worked at the time because we were both angry and carried a mostly pessimistic view of the world.  I spent a lot of time trying to stay in that vibration because I wanted to resonate with him, I “wanted it to work”, and that attracted things and people that were even worse.  It was not pretty, there was anger, jealousy, blame, suspicion, neediness and more.  I'm not proud of who I was.

Then, I discovered the teachings of Abraham, and Bashar and several others, it made sense to me;  so I chose to work on my vibration.  Those teachings did not appeal to him, and so the result was that his vibration stayed the same.  This was his choice and he has every right to it.  
But even after I began my serious vibration work, he couldn’t see me in any other way.  He and I were the strongest of mirrors, and everything negative I put out seemed to come back with a fury from this man, but he didn't reflect back "the good stuff" as I was putting it out there. In vibrational work it is said that one cannot percieve the vibration of what they are not.
I tried to buck the current of what he expected from me, but he was too strong and we just kept pulling this stuff out of each other. We sunk, in a manner of speaking, to our lowest common vibration. He interpreted everything in the worst possible light.  All the *other* stuff I had attracted, the other people and the other situations eventually cleared away, so I knew it was working.  But he stuck around and we still interacted like water and sodium no matter how hard I tried.  So his anger, the anger that originally brought him into my life, got the better of him.  He used that old vibration to focus on and reinforce the worst possible view of reality, and he ended the relationship.  He treated me as though I was the way I was when I met him.

But…

I wasn't that person any more.  I haven’t been that person for 2 years now. 

So what had kept him in my sphere all this time- in spite of all our attempts to separate, and why did it happen today?

I think that it has something to do with this:  about 3 days ago, I finally made the connection that everything around me is a reflection.  II sort of knew it then, but now I really REALLY finally put it together.
So I understood that there was something in me (and in his reality, there is something in him) that was still reflecting something back to me.  I had changed the overall vibration so it couldn't have been that-so what then?
I took a good look at myself, and after some soul-searching, I decided that I had done the best I could and made the conscious choice to forgive myself for my behavior over the years.  (Thank you to Don Miguel Ruiz and Eckhart Tolle whose works I have recently found)  I had forgiven him long ago but this time, it was for *me*.  And on that day I felt my vibration rise to a higher level than it had been before, and stay there.
You see, it was with that action, I let go of the last vestiges of the old vibration and in doing so, gave it the release it needed to finally end.  Being such a perfect mirror as he is, he picked up on it and said goodbye right away.

But...
A strange thing happened.
After I did that, I realized that this relationship would not have worked with him, as he is, anyway.
And that's OK.
As he is now, he will be drawn to individuals that are more like he is now; Maybe more like I was then. He simply isn't capable of reflecting me as I am now.  I know why he couldn't see me.  And that's OK.  He is the best mirror I've ever known and I'm sure there will be many more who need to learn the lessons he can provide at the frequency at which he provides them.
But *I* am waking up to something different. 
For me, there will be different people- and that's OK.   As he is now, we do not resonate and that’s OK.  As he is now, he will not hear anything I have to say anyway.   Because you cannot percieve a thing that you are not the vibration of.
And that's OK.

As he is now, I Love him. But I know that though he is in my heart; he no longer belongs in my life.  And that is fine.
Nobody failed here.  The Laws of the Universe are intact and working perfectly. 

And…

I'm OK.
Sure, it stings, but I also can’t help but be amazingly grateful for this experience.   What a magnificent Soulmate he is to have taught me so much!  How fearless he was to reflect back to me everything I needed to know, no matter how unpleasant or painful.  Even though I know he doesn't understand this in his physical form, what a gift he gave me from Spirit when he agreed to do this.  How lucky I was to have someone as funny, smart, handsome, giving, selfless, truthful and worldly.   I may have started writing today with tears of sadness, but now they are a great flowing stream of appreciation and I shed them in his honor, and in mine. 
I know it was a good experience.  I've recieved the benefit of clarity and I'm expanding!  I can see the positive aspects of this, and I'm really challenged to find a negative one!
That's how I know I've truly changed.

Looking back on the past three days, I can see how , with so many things to be enthusiastic about, as my vibrational work had really picked up momentum in other areas of my life; the one thing that didn’t fit was…well…for lack of a better word “ejected” from my life. It's no longer the shock it was.

I understand why it happened now, I take it as a sign of great progress.  There is something better coming. I have been honing the idea of what I really want all this time  My vibration is purer than it has ever been before.  I'll be attracting people who are at this new vibration, they're already showing up!  What is on the way is much better and fuller and more complete than what has passed, and when it comes it will be spectacular!
I have him to thank for that. 

So...

Thank you, Be happy, Be well.  I Love you. Namaste.

Monday, August 20, 2012

What is meant to be

"There is no "meant to be". All that determines what happens in your life is what you want, how much you want it, and how purely you believe in its happening."
-Grace Gemini

Friday, August 17, 2012

If you're brave enough...

"Forgive yourself all of your past actions and mistakes. Decide that loving yourself is the most important thing in the world-make the decision that you will no longer accept abuse from anyone, even yourself. Decide you will no longer use others to punish yourself. Then see who leaves your life-and who stays."
-GraceGemini

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

After today's request for emergency healing for a friend's cat

"Hey Grace, "THE CAT" JUST ATE!! yeahhhhhh....i just got done cleaning her face and eyes and giving her meds. the swelling on her face even looks a little better... AFter her meds, she groomed herself as usual, cleaned her face and then curled up and is sleeping peacefully now...thank you so much for all you help.. Wow,..."
YAY!

On perfection

"If someone tells you that a relationship is perfect for them "in spite of the shit", then it's not perfect. If they truly thought it was perfect, it wouldn't even occur to them to say "in spite of"."
-Grace Gemini

Sunday, August 12, 2012

True Teachers

"The greatest Teachers do not say "Worship me". They do not say "Follow me."
The greatest Teachers said "Be LIKE me."
They are not interested in creating "followers", they are creating EQUALS."
-Grace Gemini

Fear

"Fear is what takes us out of the present moment. When you are afraid, you are thinking about something that has happened, or worrying about something that may happen.
When you are out of the present moment, you are off your path. Your mind will play tricks on you. The rational mind will begin to search for reasons and evidence to support the fear it feels. You become reactionary instead of responsible.
Don't worry about this, it happens from time to time. You are always able to stop, take a breath and re-focus on the present moment. You are always able to begin again."
-Grace Gemini

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Truth and Lies.

When people lie, it often stems from shame, fear or guilt. Shame comes because we can't, or won't except the truth.  Fear occurs when the truth is something we might not want to hear.  Guilt happens when we expect that the truth will hurt another.
But the problem is that all words carry energy; lies, especially so.  Even if the person being lied to does not know on a conscious level that they are being lied to, they do feel it; and that energy eats away at the foundation of the relationship.
So, step into your truth.  Take responsibility for the choices you've made.  Act and speak with integrity.  Do not focus on the opinions or actions of others.  Letting go of dependance on the feelings of others brings you freedom.  You will no longer be bound by the fear of loss.  You will be free of having to maintain the lie.  You release the shame that comes when you know you have not acted properly.  You will be liberated from the fear of discovery.  You will be free of worry about who knows what information and you will have no potential shame at being "found out".  You will no longer have to pile lies on lies to maintain the status quo. 
Be equitable with others, but above all with yourself. And be aware how a torrent of suppressed "truths" about another may in reality be unresolved issues you have within yourself.  Understand how our "rational" minds can often deceive us.  Being honest is about allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable.  As with all paradox, this contains great power for transformation because only then are we genuine in our dealings with others; and only then can we change resentment into connection.

Saturday, August 04, 2012

Not all who Wonder are lost.

"Sometimes in life you feel as though you have lost.
But that is never the case. You never, ever lose. Eventually, the Universe will show you that it was listening all along.
The thing is- you just don't get the things you thought you wanted, you get the things that you didn't know you needed- and were already there. You just couldn't see them for what they were, but they were already there.
If things are cleared out of your life, or inaccessible, they are that way for a reason. Have faith that what comes of it will be even better than you imagined and you won't even miss what you thought you lost."
-Grace Gemini