Stop Filling In The Blanks

Because the Ego is continuously fighting for survival to justify its existence, it takes it upon itself to know everything- even when there is no information with which to form an opinion.  Its need to be in charge is so great that it supplies "facts" to make up for the unknown elements of a given situation. 
In other words; it just makes stuff up.
We are all involved in a constantly evolving story-line of our own creating.
This week, I had a first-hand opportunity to see how this can wreak havoc with my life.

It began with a flat tire.
Well, not completely flat, but on its way to that state.  The car, however, belonged to a friend of mine, and they informed me with a sense of utter certainty that someone had let the air out of the tire; and that this act was done in an attempt to "get back" at my friend for something.
Not that my friend "believed" someone had done this, but that someone had done it.

I took a look at the event, the realization that one tire was low on air, and decided that it didn't quite add up to evidence of a malicious act.  Why did they just take some of the air out?  Why did they only do this on one tire? Wouldn't someone who was being truly malicious want to cause the greatest amount of inconvenience to their victim?  Wouldn't they let the air out of all the tires-or, at the very least let all the air out of one tire?
But my friend was already caught up in the natural progression of thought which went something like this:
If one was to assume that someone let some of the air out of one of the tires, then there had to be a reason why. 
The reason why was obviously something negative.  They were trying to "get back" at my friend.  They were unfriendly people.  They were making a political statement.  They were ignorant.  etc etc etc....
That led to my friend to feel  disliked, unsafe and threatened. 

Now, hold on here.  We do not actually know what really happened.  But the owner of the car went automatically to the negative.  Is the preferred state of being to feel unsafe and threatened?  No, that certainly does not serve me.
Then why do it?

Well, it seemed obvious to me.
There was no reason to do it.
Knowing that people around me often reflected my own beliefs, I decided to take a look at myself, and Goodness, what a mess I found!

Turns out, I do the same thing on many, many subjects.  Someone didn't return a text because they must be mad at me.  Someone offered me a gift in order to buy me off in some way.  I didn't get asked to a place because my company is not as enjoyable as someone else's.  Someone didn't like my Facebook Post, I'm not as good as other people who post and get "liked".

Sheesh!

To show you what I mean, I'll take a specific entry from my journal:

Situation:
Someone didn't return a text.

Old Thoughts:
They are mad at me.  I've offended them somehow.  Other people probably get their texts returned right away.  I bet other people get lots of communication.  I am being excluded.  I am less worthy.  Something is being hidden from me.

Of course, none of this made me feel good about anything, in fact, thoughts like this often just brought me to tears.
So I continued;

It COULD be they are simply busy.
Perhaps other people are getting the same treatment.
Perhaps they have not gotten my message.
Perhaps they do not know how to answer.
They don't like to text.
They are having some quiet time.
The phone is not working.
I DO NOT KNOW WHY AND THAT'S OK

I release the need to know WHY-and I no longer fill in these blanks.  The event is neutral and even though I do not, at this time, see how it will work out positively, I accept that it will and leave it where it is.  The Universe is working hard to send me what I desire.  I'm getting a handle on this and as painful as it is to face, I'm proud that I have figured it out and I KNOW I have the strength to face it."

There could be any number of reasons, NONE of which pointed to anything negative about me or how I was being treated, but the point is not really to assign some specific meaning (though positive possibilities feel better than repeating the negative ones), it is to remember that there is no inherent pain in any given situation.  They are all neutral.  The meaning they have is what we assign to them.  Our physical mind is not designed to know and understand every little detail so stop forcing it to do something it isn't designed to do.
I went through my present thoughts and did a process like the above for every instance where I realized I was filling in the blanks for something I didn't know.
Even if you don't believe, as I do, that Reality is directed by your thoughts and vibration, why would you choose to suffer those negative thoughts before you really, REALLY have a reason?

And if you do agree with me about the nature of Reality, then you can see how putting out a vibe of negative expectation just causes those expectations to be realized.
Your mind is designed to take account of how things are happen-ING, NOT to determine how something happened or will happen.  It is a great, in-the-moment interpreter, and that's all it's supposed to be.  It functions best when we are in the present moment and there are many systems of belief that say the same thing.

Have faith that things happen for a reason, but don't knock yourself out or worse-make yourself cry, wondering what that reason is.  Just remember that when the time comes for you to know, and it will, that everything will become clear; and that reason will always turn out to be the very best for you. 
Whatever the actual reason behind the low tire, from my perspective it happened to bring another layer of myself to my attention so that it could be healed-and that turned out to be a very good thing.

"What Is This World Coming To?"

This is a question that someone recently asked of me.
"I can answer that, but you won't like it.", I said.
"Tell me anyway.", they said.

OK...here goes.

In recent times, it seems that there has been an increase in unpleasant happenings.  We look at the news coming from Boston (my home town) and other places, and at first glance it looks as though the state of the world is going down the drain. 

Now pay attention to what I said; "AT FIRST GLANCE".
But think.
Many of you know and understand that we are in the midst of a global shift in consciousness.  But what some don't realize is that in order for this shift to occur, there has to be a motivation.  In other words, every improvement in the world that has ever taken place has happened because someone recognized a thing or situation that they did not prefer and focused on an improved version of it. 
"But why so much?" you ask...

Well, in order for someone to care about changing the unwanted thing, it must be relevant to their lives.  Of course what happens to Boston is relevant to Bostonians, but is it relevant to those living in Michigan?  Is what happens in Michigan relevant to Californians?
Not so much.

So, in order for the entire world to shift the way in which they view reality there must be events that provide the inspiration in many different areas and on many different levels.  And, since time is speeding up (actually it only appears that way but more on that in another post), it appears that these negative incidents are happening more frequently.

The important thing here is to focus on HOW we are dealing with these events. 
Do we choose to focus on blame and revenge?  Do we responded by promoting fear-based programming and become fearful ourselves?
For my part, I chose to look at the recent events in Boston and made the decision to see the larger picture. 
It was a picture which illustrated the process of the unwanted giving rise to the wanted.  In other words, I was able to understand that it was exactly this type of event that makes possible the tremendously powerful coming together of peoples looking to create something better.  It was a strange feeling-this thought that , on some level, I might feel some form of gratitude to those who had caused so much suffering; but when I understood that I had been given an opportunity to learn more about compassion if I so chose, I learned to appreciate the lesson. 

I try to look at all episodes of negativity this way.  Perhaps I'm just noticing it more because it has been such a focus for me, but during this global shift I'm finding that more and more often others have followed suit.
By doing this, there is no negative situation that cannot give birth to something positive. 

Violent episodes, like the one in Boston, have no meaning aside from the meaning we assign to it.  What we take from the experience becomes more important than the experience itself.

So..."what is this world coming to?"

I, for one, am pretty optimistic.  :)

The Eggs

The Eggs

There was a boy who was employed to carry eggs from the chicken coops at one end of a farm to the farmer's wife in her kitchen at the other end.  As the chickens laid eggs very slowly, he decided that it would be best to transport the eggs one at a time. And so whenever a chicken laid an egg, the boy put the egg in his basket and took it to the farmer.s wife.
He went on quite well until, one day, he stumbled on a rock. The egg rolled out of the basket, onto the ground and broke. The boy picked up all the broken pieces of shell, scooped up the gooey insides along with the dirt they had fallen on and put it all back in his basket. Then he went back to wait for the chickens to lay the next egg.
Unfortunately, the broken eggshells took up a lot of room in the basket and so the boy had to balance the next egg on top of the pile. Sure enough, the new egg slipped out of the basket before he reached the farmer's wife. So again, he picked up all the eggshells, scooped up all the other stuff and put it all back in his basket. Luckily, the chickens had laid another egg and so he carefully placed the egg on top of the pile and went on his way.
This time he walked veeeeerrrrry slooooowwwwly and carefully and he made it all the way into the yard by the kitchen door before the egg tumbled to the ground.  By this time the poor boy was quite upset and he began to cry very loudly. So loudly, that the farmer's wife came outside and asked the boy what the matter was.
"I was carrying an egg to you but it broke" he said, "so I put all the pieces back in the basket and went back for more eggs. They all broke too."  So I had to go back again, and again but by this time my basket was so full of eggshells and egg-insides that every egg I put in there fell out." and he sniffled and wiped away a tear.
"Oh dear",. said the farmer's wife. "This wont do at all."
So she emptied the basket full of egg into the slops heap for the pigs, and wiped it clean with the corner of her apron.  Then, she handed the basket back to the boy.
"There, there now, don't feel bad dear.", she smiled. "You see that even your broken eggs had a use, and your basket is now clean enough to fit more of the perfect ones."
The boy thanked her very much and left for the chicken coops again with his clean, empty basket. Along the way, he sang a little song:

"Out with the old to make room for the new!
That's how I work, and you should too!
Else you end up with egg on you!"

The moral of the story is more than "Don't put all your eggs in one basket."
When we make a mistake, many of us gather up the pieces of that mistake and carry them with us. The problem is that filling ourselves up with the remnants of past mistakes by bringing them up over and over again leaves us little room in our "baskets" for new experiences. Best to admit to the mistake, let it go and move on. If we find a way to make use of what we've learned then so much the better!

Let Go Of The Past

Someone I know is fond of saying that she is living the last ten years of her life over and over again; it's much truer than she knows.
It got me thinking about the last few years of *my* life--and the events that have
brought me to this point; and I realized that I am also "living the last ten years of
my life".
Every day, I spend time thinking about what has happened in that time, all the
mistakes I've made, hurtful things suffered at the hands of others, things I've
lost--just like this lady--and I have been forgetting one of the most basic of all
Huna principals "The moment of power is now".

As humans, we all live in linear time, which is really just a paradigm that forms the
boundaries around our lives so we can understand what is going on. In a nutshell it
means we begin at the beginning and finish at the end. "Power" is defined by the
amount of influence one thing has over another, therefore we have no "power" to
change the past (not yet, at least). Likewise, although we might have influence over
our paths, we cannot directly affect the future either. Well, folks, that leaves...you
got it...now.

The only moment of power we truly have is in this very second. So perhaps the
important question is not "what did I do then" but rather "what can I do now?". My
friend robs herself of power daily by dwelling on past mistakes and injustices. She
lets her experiences then frame her reactions to her experiences now. Her
relationships have suffered, she has not accomplished what she wants to do.
Likewise, she robs herself of power by worrying about what the future will bring
her. Notice I say "will bring her" because with this mind-set she believes that life is
something that happens to her. That sure as hell looks to me like she has given up
the steering wheel.
This leaves me with some interesting conclusions;

1) it is impossible to live in the present without letting go of the past (meaning; old
patterns that still hamper you).

2) it is impossible to plan for the future without living in the present.

3) the only influence the past can have over us is what we allow it to have.

4) Everything changes.

5) breaking old patterns is the key to living in the present.

To apply the principal;
I think that people often miss out on some of the more valuable interactions in life
by looking at one thing but truly seeing something else--something whose image is
generated by patterns created by past events.
Take each day as it comes. Don't hold yourself back from trying something
because something in your past gave you pain--this limits you and steals your
power.
See things as they are now, not what you think they might become or as they
"should be".
Coincidentally, I've recently been contacted by a few old acquaintances from many
years ago. I'm not sure what they're expecting, but I feel that it's important for me
to say the following;
See me as I am now. I made many mistakes. I was trapped in the past and by the
future when you knew me but that doesn't mean I love you any less. If I offended
you or hurt you, by word or deed then please forgive me. I am not now what I was
then, please give me the benefit of the doubt and take the time to get to know me
again.
I have learned a lot. I am a much more valuable person because of it. I will have
skills that will benefit you and I give them willingly in appreciation of your
friendship, and I will not ask for more than you can give.
Give me a chance, moment-to-moment. Don't look away to the past.
Realize that fear of dealing with me comes from you and coming from you can be
conquered by you.
Don.t see me as I was, don't picture me as you would like me to be. Be with me
now, in this moment thus preserving your power and mine.

What Good May Come Of It-A Father's Legacy

There is no delicate way of saying this.

My father was a crook.

And a recent reunion of 3 of his 6 children from 5 different mothers sparked a conversation about his life and how sad it was that such an apparently brilliant man wasted his intelligence and skills on a life of crime.

As a Shaman, I appreciate the lessons that we come to this Earth to learn when it comes to the larger picture.  I understand that, in Spiritual terms, my father's existence provides lessons and experiences that are unique to his children and what we do with those lessons helps us to realize who we are.  For that, at least, I am forever grateful to the man and his spirit for being there to teach me that.
Yeah.
Sure.
Right.
;)

But it seemed, on another, more "Earthy" and In-Your-Face level, to be such a sad waste of talent and potential for him to have gone the way he did.  My awareness of the "bigger picture" did little to soothe the hurt feelings of the 3 year old child inside me who became aware that there was something "different" about my history with respect to other children.  What my family avoided speaking about told me much more than the short, terse answers I got when I was old enough to start asking difficult questions.  It's hard not to assume that this somehow reflects on your worth as a person; especially for a child.
The mothers of his children have a particular point of view concerning their experiences with my father, and their opinions are, shall we say, less than complementary.
Before I met these men, my brothers, I was resigned to incorporate this vibration into my own being, and thought I had made peace with it all.  But as we chatted easily together, it became apparent that there might be a connection that transcended the common pain and chaos our father had caused for each of us.  As we exchanged the bits of knowledge that we had, and discovered more about this man, we slowly discovered things about each other that provided a different picture.

From my brother Joe, I learned that my father painted and had considered attending art school at one time.  Painting is a skill I discovered for myself only recently- it surprised me more than anyone, but it made sense to me that somehow I may have inherited this unknown talent in part from my father.

From my brother James, we learned that my father had studied law and became a paralegal while still incarcerated.  My brother James certainly inherited this practical intelligence and became a successful businessman who left a steady job to strike out on his own.  In the middle of a recession, he used his skills and knowledge as an engineer to build his own branch of an international company. He had the flexibility to accept and appreciate his two sons for the exceptional individuals they are, and they have flourished. 

Out of the 6 of us, Joe spent the longest time with our father in his life, and though he had more of a negative example, he turned it around and took away important lessons concerning family and responsibility.  He works hard providing for his 3 daughters in a way that our father never did.  He channeled his anger into martial arts, and is still well-remembered in relevant circles as a talented Thai Kick-boxer and instructor.  Joe balanced his physical existence with a deeply Spiritual side.  He takes pride in that, and so do the rest of us.

Though I do not know them as well, I can see that my father's legacy was not limited to the three of us.  My sister Marjory has a sense of aesthetic that rivals the most experienced interior designer.  She built a beautiful home for her family.
My sister Alicia, however, inherited our father's temper.  But, instead of turning those feelings into negative actions, she developed a sense of justice and outspokenness that we all admired.  Unfortunately, she passed away before I could meet her in person, but we did speak often by phone.  We both worked hard to put ourselves through school and we shared stories about those challenges.  Of all of us, it was Alicia who was able to stand up to our father and tell him in no uncertain terms just what she thought of him.  And though we may have cringed a little on the outside when she did it, inside we were all cheering her on for doing what we all wish we had the guts to do for ourselves. 

Of the 6, I know the least about George, who lives a quiet life in the mid-west with his wife and children.  He doesn't seem to feel the need to put what happened in perspective, nor does he seem to spend a lot of time soul-searching and sharing his experiences with the rest of his siblings.  Maybe our father, who was a poor Cuban immigrant, did what he did on some level in order to fit in with his ideal of the rich, successful American. Of course, what we do, we do because we think that it will make us happy, and it seems that, out of all of us, George has come the closest to realizing the kind of life that our father wanted.   George seems happy.  Without the glamor, without the glitz and showy possessions; he is happy.
Perhaps that's the greatest gift of all.

Looking at all of us through the lens of greater understanding, my brothers James and Joe and I realized that our father's life may not have been as much of a waste as we had thought.  Though there are many holes in the story that may never be filled in, we know that in terms of his children at least, there was a positive outcome to my father's existence.
I can know who I am, and be proud of who I am.  Partially because of it all, and admittedly partially in spite of it all-but nonetheless; proud of all of who I am; the negative and the positive.
And I have a great family.
I've said that before.
But until now I've never been able to say this;
Thanks, Dad.

The Gift. Happy Holiday's To All

An older story, but still relevant.  I hope you Enjoy it!



A little boy sat on the living room floor with legs crossed, deep in thought.
Colorful scraps of paper, glittering confetti and curling ribbon attached to pieces of Scotch tape lay crumpled and strewn in chaotic piles around his knees. He stretched out a slippered foot and sullenly kicked at a bit of the stuff, turning it
over with his toes. The call of discarded wrapping paper shown red, green and gold. It glimmered cheerily in the lights of the tree and the fireplace, but did nothing to brighten his mood.
Another happily squashed wad of paper landed nearby and the boy looked up to the source of the litter. All the other family members had already opened their presents, and how it was his mother's turn.

"Oh John! It's Beautiful!" she exclaimed with delight. "I have wanted something like this for just the longest time!" She held the box in her hands, lovingly pulled out the expensive bracelet inside and held out her arm to her husband who was
sitting next to her on the couch. "Put it on me, wont you dear?"
The diamonds winked and twinkled on her wrist as her hands moved across the various boxes and packages still arranged in neat piles within easy reach. One by one the festive wrappings were torn away to reveal their wondrous contents. There was a big, fluffy bathrobe with matching slippers in just that shade of blue that matched mother's eyes from sister Amanda. They sat on the boxes of matching note-cards, pen and address book from Grandma which were covered in pansies; his mother's favorite flower.
There were pearl earrings from Aunt Julia, and a new, fine leather brief case from brother Jim. At last there were only two items left. The woman smiled as she reached for a tall, square package; this one wrapped neatly in silver paper covered in blue stars. The box was topped with a loopy blue and silver ribbon so huge that it nearly covered the entire top of the box. The whole family oooooohed and ahhhhed over the magnificent wrapping; but that was nothing compared to their reaction when the box was opened. Inside the beautiful paper, swaddled in confetti and bubble-wrap, was a china plate.
This was not just any porcelain plate, but a very expensive and delicate one. It had cranes painted on it. Oriental ladies fanned themselves and strolled under blossoming cherry trees, across a bridge that spanned a lovely little river. Water lilies floated in the water, and their blooms were painted in colors so delicate that the little boy thought he could almost reach out and pick one. The inside of the plate was creamy white, and the rim was painted in gold that shone brightly in the light of the
fireplace.
"This is too much," said mother. She ran her hand over the edge, taking in the smooth coolness under her fingertips. She turned the plate over in her hands, watching the way the light played across the translucent finish.
"I have never seen anything so beautiful!" she cried. "This is the best Christmas ever!" She stood up and gently lifted the plate and placed it on the mantle in between a pair of silver candlesticks. She stepped back to admire it and smiled. Then she sat down once again and reached for the last present.

This package was different from all the rest. It had a bow made from many bits of different colored yarn that was tied around wrapping paper made from a brown paper grocery bag. Stars and swirls of color were drawn all over the paper in crayon; the artist seemingly determined to use every color in the crayon box. This box was not wrapped as neatly as the others; its corners were not perfectly crisp and the tape stuck out in places. Nevertheless, she lifted it gingerly into her lap and opened it with care.
Inside the rather sorry-looking wrapping was an even sorrier-looking item. It was a pot made of clay.
"What's this?" she asked, lifting the pot from its box and turning it over in her hands. "Is this for me?" The poor little pot was thicker on one side than the other and was painted with bright yellow and orange flowers that could only be described as "noisy". The rim of the pot, if indeed the pot had a rim, was painted blue with yellow spots. There were thumb-prints dried into the bottom and it didn't sit quite straight on the table. It leaned to one side in a way that looked
to the little boy as if the clay had partially melted.  Mother held it out at arm's length, blue eyes scanning the lumpy clay. "Did you make this for me?" she said, smiling to the little boy.
"Yes", he nodded looking nervously at the floor. He had spent a whole afternoon on it. His eyes traveled to the mantle where the china plate sat, gleaming regally.
"But it.s not very good". He said.
"Not very good?! Well I think it.s wonderful." Said mother. She reached out and ruffled the boy's unruly hair. She carried the little pot to the kitchen where she placed it on the table. It wobbled just a little, but otherwise stayed put.

In time the holidays passed as holidays do, and the little boy grew up as little boys do. Through the years, the beautiful china plate with the cranes and ladies on it stayed on the mantle; and the little boy.s mother dusted it once a week. When
people visited, she always took them to see the mantle where the plate stood between the candlesticks.
"This is my beautiful china plate", she told them. "I got it for Christmas but we mustn't use it. It's much too delicate." The company nodded solemnly and moved on.
When the children grew up, and left to start families of their own, Mother and Father decided to move to a smaller house. The beautiful china plate was lovingly and carefully wrapped up in its bubble-wrap and confetti and placed into the new
attic along with the candle sticks, and other boxes filled with photo albums and baby clothes that had long been outgrown. When the little boy, who was not so little any more, came to visit he found the old, lumpy clay pot filled with apples
and sitting on the dining room table. The noisy little flowers were faded now, and somebody had glued a little piece of cork to the bottom so that the pot no longer wobbled. "I didn't think you had kept this", he said thinking sullenly back to that morning with the tree and the china plate, where was that plate anyway?
He looked around.
No plate.
"Oh dear!!" Mother laughed. "I don't know what I'd do without my little clay pot!"
She removed the fruit and turned the pot over lovingly. "It still has your little thumb prints here all over the bottom! This pot used to have all my paper clips in it. Do you remember when it sat on Father's desk?"
The young man nodded.
"And I planted grandma's pansies in it, before they got too big in the Spring."
She went on, "And last Summer we filled it with sand and used it to prop open the
screen door! I kept my gardening supplies in it this Fall and it held down the paper
on my desk when I was working on the Christmas cards. Last week I had it filled
with pens and pencils by the phone! This pot has been the best present I've
ever gotten, and you made it for me all by yourself!"
The young man smiled and put the pot back on the table. He took a bite out of an
apple, then, whistling happily, he followed his mother into the kitchen for something to drink.

On Meditation

"Many people think that meditation is the process of training the mind. I prefer to think of it as a process by which we learn to percieve with the heart without the conscious or unconscious judgement and self-editing of the human mind. When someone says "keep this in mind", I think "Take this to heart" because I think that the heart is really the seat of Human intelligence and the key to global consciousness."
-Grace Gemini

Faith

"It is inconceivable to me that a Universe in which anything is possible could present us with a life full of challenges without also giving us the means to overcome them."
- Grace Gemini

Positive Thinking is an oxymoron

A dear friend on Facebook posted this article:

http://www.salon.com/2012/11/25/positive_thinking_is_for_suckers/


 I was moved to post an answer, then again inspired to post it here.   Enjoy!

 ***********************************************************************************
The assumption that all people are at the mercy of their cyclical, negative thoughts with no hope in sight is very typical of Western brain-centric ideology. I agree that to approach the concept of happiness from that perspective is an uphill battle on wheels.
However, from a Spiritualist perspective-my perspective- thought exists to be used as a tool to generate the feelings of happiness that we aim for. This is why affirmations don’t work for most people. We can stomp across a stage or read positive statements til we’re blue in the face but if we don’t feel them; and more importantly train ourselves so we carry the positive feeling until it becomes habitual, they won’t work to make us happy. The less effort; the better. This “short circuits” those ruminant patterns of thought that can sabotage us. ( meditation is a great tool in helping individuals break these habits)

Author Gregg Braden has a very interesting story about his visit to a Tibetan Buddhist Monastery where he asks the abbot t about the importance of all the paraphernalia around the monks during their prayers. He was told that all the accoutrements are meaningless since they exist to generate the feeling, and “The Feeling is the Prayer.”
http://unslavedmedia.net/unslavedmedia/watch_video.php?v=Y4YKNMSAAOA8 (check around timer 8:18)

A good book that approaches this subject is called “The Heart’s Code”, by Author Paul Pearsall. Pearsall describes the American belief in the superiority of the brain, and puts forth a very convincing argument that it is just this kind of “positive thinking” that keeps most of us from the happiness we seek. He states that for most Americans, any kind of sentiment- and by that, I mean what is felt, not purchased from Hallmark- makes us very uncomfortable.

Happiness is effortless.
This is not to say that it does not take some focus to get there. Those who achieve it are those who have conditioned their "ambient thoughts" to a place of neutrality and acceptance-with a healthy dose of your Buddhist "non-attachment".

Where modern Spiritual seekers run afoul of concepts like the Law of Attraction, “Motivational Speakers” or The Secret, is by

1) Aiming for something that they think will make them happy (instead of aiming for the happiness itself)
2) assuming that it is the words alone that will give them the outcome they desire.

Therefore, Secret behind the Secret, and what I think Burkeman is saying here, is that what you are, in effect, reaching for (though “reaching” may be too active a word in this context) is the feeling of well-being in spite of the prevailing circumstance. When you are already enjoying the feeling, suddenly the outcome doesn’t mean as much.
Whatever gets you there is irrelevant.

You Don't Have To Like Me

You are under no obligation to like me.
You don’t have to like everything I do.
Feel free to like only some of the things I do, or some of the things I believe, or think or feel.
Or none of them.
You can organize and categorize every aspect of me, and pick and choose from any column and in any combination.
You can completely customize your vision of me, and then you can toss it all back and choose again.
You can like most of me, some of me or none of me. It’s your choice.
You can like me, or you can like what you think I am.
You do not have to know me at all.
It doesn’t matter.
Though what you think about me may, temporarily, peripherally or superficially cause me some sadness, it doesn’t make me a bad person.
In fact, it says nothing at all about me.
I choose whether or not to hold onto that sadness.
I release any need to have anyone choose anything in particular. I relieve you of the responsibility of pretending.
I do this because *I* like me.
I can do this because I know who I am.
I can do this because I take responsibility for my own happiness.
I know that happiness is a choice.

How much happier would you have been if you could say the same to your friends; your lovers? To your family?

On Repeating Numbers

 I've seen so many sites and it seems that a whole lot of people have put a whole lot of time into "defining" just what these numbers mean-books, websites, pamphlets, angels, specific meanings, blogs. wow.
Some of the "meanings" aren't really that positive from my perspective, "Your agels aren't with you" or "brace for change"-and sometimes that brings me down; so I decided to do it this way;
I told the Universe that coming across repeating numbers is simply an indication to me, sent by my higher self, that I'm ON THE RIGHT TRACK.
Thanks to all those people who spent so much time and effort in breaking it all down, and I'm sure that it works for them, but I'm not going to worry about what 9's mean, or if I prefer 3's to 5's-if I see them, I just know I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING, and I smile.
I have noticed that since I decided that, they are coming up a LOT more often!
I think I did the right thing.
:)

When Life Gets Rough, Remember Why You Are Here.

You’re here to *learn* things.

Not to know things.

That’s a very important distinction.

You’re not here to *know* lessons-you’re not here so that this information magically appears inside your head.

...

It was the *process* of learning that was important to you, with all it’s delays, issues and effort and pain. Have faith that everything you experience is a part of that learning- the reason that you are here.

The journey *IS* the destination. So relish it.

So What Did You Really Love?

So, What Did You Really Love?

Let’s say that you go to a restaurant.
This place advertises that it serves the best nachos on the East Coast.  It’s advertised in the menu, and it might even be on that little lighted board that they sometimes put out on the sidewalk to catch the eye of people passing by.  You may have had them there before, or known someone else who just raved about them!  Either way, you are smiling on your way in the door.
When you get to a table, you feel pretty good!  You’re *really* looking forward to this meal.   And when you’re in a mood this good, everything else in life just seems to line up too.  So you sit down, and order the nachos, the waiter says “Coming right up.”
But they don’t show.
So after thirty minutes or so, you might ask again about the status of your order.  And again the water apologizes and says, “Just a few more minutes.”  This goes on for the better part of two hours, and finally you ask to see a manager who tells you “Oh, sorry-you see, that was a special occasion, we don’t make those any more.  In fact, we fired the chef who did, and the owner has such a thing against that jerk that we will never ever serve nachos again just because they remind the owner of the chef he didn’t like.  Sorry-but if you had asked, we would have told you so it’s really your fault for wasting your own time so don’t go thinking that you’ll get any discounts on something else.”
If the restaurant does not offer you what you wanted, and is unwilling to work with you-what do you do?
Do you continue to sit there, hoping that SOMEDAY they *might* decide to serve them again because they used to do it?  Do you blame yourself for believing in something that was promised to you. Perhaps you think that if you had been a better person, they might have made them for you anyway?  You might sit there, remembering the time you had the nachos, and order something else; pay more-enjoy it less, and think that you were lucky to have had nachos once and you should settle for what you can get now.  Some people might grab the menu, point to all the things advertised and yell “YOU PROMISED!”  Maybe they think that will guilt the manager into producing the food.
But that’s really sad.
You want to get up and go to a place that promises what you want-and comes through with those promises right?
Why then, do we hold ourselves in relationships that no longer come through with what was promised in the beginning?
When you ask someone why they remain in a relationship like this, they are likely to say, “Why, because I’m in love!”
But that begs the question-if what you are in love with is no longer a part of the menu-or what was offered is not, in truth, available from the partner-or never was; then just what do you love now? (not then, but now?)

You love the illusion of what you were being offered.  You love the memories.
You loved the way you felt.
Sit down for this one-
You loved the WAY YOU FELT.
You loved your vision of them.

BUT YOU DO NOT LOVE THEM.

You wanted to be with them because you felt better about yourself when you were.

But now you no longer feel good about yourself.
So now what?

The key is to realize that feeling good about yourself has NOTHING to do with them.
What a partner may do, temporarily, is motivate you to connect more strongly with your Inner Be-ing and it’s that CONNECTION TO YOURSELF that makes you feel good. Returning to our poor friend at the table, what happens is that eventually the menu changes.  The person changes.  And you are left without access to your connection, sitting around waiting for something to change so you can get it back.
Realizing that what you once loved no longer exists is hard.  You feel like a fool.  You want to do *something*-anything-to get back to that good feeling place you were once in.
This is a hard truth for many to stomach-no pun intended.  But the truth is; the ONLY one responsible for your connection is YOU-and once you practice a little, you can make that connection yourself, BY YOURSELF, any time you want regardless of who is with, or not with you.  And via Universal laws, once you are able to Love yourself-you will see that love reflected back to you in the people around you.
To put it as clearly as I can (at the moment):
You do NOT fall in Love with people.  You encounter people who remind you to fall in Love with yourself. And if they no longer do that, let them eat cake.

A Thankless Job

Last night, I did a distance healing for someone who I know will never thank me for it.  I opened his heart chakra, pulled out all the gunk and replaced it with Love, Peace and Clarity.
I think it worked.

The Three Pearls

Goodness only knows how this started--I think it had something to do with watching all those episodes of "The Tudors"
My apologies for the formatting- it's a tad messy.



"Cry me a river." said the Witch Queen to the Elvin King, and he did, which carried them away to distant shores."My heart is your compass", said the king;"Given freely, and without remorse"

Then she kissed him on his kingly brow, her lips were warm against his skin, her love to show for all the world; a golden spark to kindle flames that flickered deep within.

"Your eyes, my stars to guide us by", the Witch Queen lay the words upon the night, "your breath, the winds to fill the sails and that which brings all things to set aright."

And up amidst the roiling, spewing wat'ry coil arose an island bright whereupon the travelers lit and thought to spend the night.The ship which carried them, in which they held great store; brought them safely through the waves, and to the grainy shore.

Wrapped in velvet black of sunless sky, did they lay themselves upon the sand,which served to cradle them as flowers held within a gently curved hand.  And lo- from heaven to softly kiss each sleeping Fey on creaseless brow,did bend the Lady Moon, within whose silver net, the lovers rested now.


Presently, Nature's gentle alchemy turned subtle silver to radiant gold, and great Helios loosed his rays from the vault that was their's, within to hold.On flaming horses drew he, his chariot across the blue which caused the lover's waking world to once again renew.

And from within empty bellies did roar the memory of food, and that which wanted more.  Into the hills they did pass, lock'd arm in arm with heads whispering together in search of that which sustains and grows in places made easier to gather.

Said the Elvin King to his Lady Fair "you are my bounty, and all good things that gods to men do bring" and with these words occurred a strange and marvelous thing; for before them upon a stone which sat atop the fertile ground they did spy,a table strewn with all manner of things in whose design were meant to satisfy.

And there on the table, set to grace the display of Fairy fare,upon a scalloped shell, three pearls of varied hue lay shining there.One of copper, bright as flame, one of silver in Luna's way and the third of gold, and each of a size to match the round wonder in lovers' eyes.

And wonder they did, at the gleaming treasure so then at last, with hunger satisfied according to their pleasure they took for themselves, this regal gift and our Lady secreted the pearls within the bodice of her flowing shift.

But all was not well, for in a tree that grew across the glen, perched a creature with a taste for the riches of mortal men.  And knowing benefit of neither hope nor heart within his hollow chest this wizened being did scheme for ways by which the shining orbs away from the lovers, he might wrest.

With naked hatred did he jump upon the groundand waved his black and twisted arms in circles all around and where his evil, jealous flesh did cast its shadow on the heath another dark and sinister thing would crawl up from its den in reaches underneath.

"I'll have those pearls!" growled the twisted elf intent on taking all the lustrous riches for himself. His gibbering, spitting horde did move to carry out his will and encircle the lovers, now arm in arm though standing defiant still.

So from her gown the Witch Queen brought forth the pearl as red as flame and the Elvin King said "You, black and twisted thing who has no name,can have this pearl, by my leave and without redress, for I would rather have the copper of my lover's curling tresses."

The evil thing held aloft his hand with fingers curled into a dark foreboding ring and made as if from air to catch the luminous thing but as he closed his greedy fist around the pearl of reddish hue suddenly it was a pearl no more and like it's shade in name, did burst into a gout of copper flame.

"What trickery is this!?" he cried, letting loose the elemental sprite upon the ground as dancers dancing, did the fire circle dark and muttering host, on all sides 'round.When burning terpsichorean had gleaned the final stick, and wind had wiped the hillside clean the foul and choking smoke retreated from his eyes to show, the shining couple nowhere to be seen.

Half-mad with fury, taunted by the image of the gem that circumstance had caused him to eschew The greedy gnome said "Very well, if one pearl has been denied me, then I shall have the other two!"So reaching, grasping, clawing, spurred on by crazed ambitions yet to be fulfilled he aimed his forces skyward, ever climbing, driving them with stinging blows and foul curses on to take the summit of the hill.

Three days hence, the loving Fey found themselves upon a rocky ledge above a valley spread below like a length of autumn-colored silk.  A clear view, their vantage point afforded from farthest east to western edge with no sign of twisted goblin or others of his evil ilk.

A river flowed, woven through as a ribbon of blue to hem a lady's gown, along the verdant valley floor and food aplenty leaving them to think they could not have wanted more.But in the misty hours of grey morning, in numbers seemingly without measure they saw the dark and fiendish hordes arrayed along the valley, and intent on gaining their remaining treasure.

Below the ledge, the hateful thing held a vision of the silver pearl before his eyes,and knowing it to be possessed by those whom, in his esteem, there was no equal to despise he stood with legs apart, anchored firmly to his chosen spot, and sent his orders out upon the moving air that they should leave their rocky nest, to bring the pearl unto him while he waited there.

"Give me the pearl of silver" said he with his face a mask of boundless greed,"And should you not comply, your brightness will be ended!" he gleefully decreed.This time, it was the Queen whose words fell like a gentle rain from rocky place above"I would sooner have, than all the silver pearls under Heaven, just one silver tear of joy from him, who is my treasure, and my joy to Love!"

"Take your pearl, and begone!" she said, and drew the jewel from within her gown and with a radiant smile, threw the silver pearl down.And from where it struck, a fountain sprang up tossing water droplets bright high into the sky, to cast a veil of colors across the riverbank as they fell and caught the light.

But much more than this, the water fell and as it ran across the valley, did it join with it's sister, the River, causing it to swell above the tracks which had held it fast,rushing across the land, where the evil horde had passed.

The angry roar of water surged forth in suffocating waves and swept before it, those spiteful goblins who went gasping to their graves.The silver flood spared none, save the twisted thing alone and when he looked to the rocky ledge, his shining quarry, King, Queen and pearl, were gone.

Fled to open spaces, high atop the mountain range,and to its rocky spine whereupon they fell to their knees and called to Spirits both Earthly and Divine"Oh save us from this Evil thing who seeks to settle some imaginary score!"The only sound, the whispering wind who answered not, and nothing more.

‎"You cried me a river," Said the Witch Queen to the Elven King "And it took us here, to distant shining shore.""And dance we did" replied her lover bold"under smiling stars and silver moon, though we knew not how many trials we would face,nor what fickle fate had put aside in store"

And as she smiled, a smile more radiant and rich than ever had before graced the lips of any witch they understood the lesson to be learned so when the Evil thing at last approached, each took the others hand and turned.

‎"Give me the pearl of gold!" the jealous creature spat""And I'll have no more of your spells, I shall not fall for such cruel trickery as that!But pearl in hand, the fey atop the grass did throw and as he reached for it the golden orb began to glow.

"Treasure we have always had!" they looked into each other's eyes as gentle as if speaking to a child, the couple did advise.In unison, they said, "My love is mine, and I am for my love which is valued, and more precious than any earthly trove."

The creature shrieked, for now he understood the greatness of what he would never have the ground beneath him rumbled, then shook and split the great fissure opened up before him and his pearl and swallowed him along with it.

Knowing now that true worth lay within their love and not in precious rings that earthly men covet and, in their greed become twisted evil things.A rainbow formed a sturdy bridge across the sky to be a path for them to follow according to their will and home they went, hand in hand and hearts entwined, and if they have not died, they exist there still.
Fin.

Channeling from Anghara

We are Anghara, and we have accessed this channel to disseminate information pertinent to your growth as Spiritual Beings. With that goal in mind, we submit the following:


All energy flows along the path of least resistance, and this can be the shortest path or simply the least obstructed. These pathways are also made of energy but they constitute the channels or boundaries which, in turn, direct the flow of energy. Think of it as the underlying structure or grid which can determine the ultimate expression of that energy- in much the same way that one may extrapolate the eventual appearance of a building by examining its framework.

Likewise, the sum total of our Life experience to date forms the framework that determines the flow of energy through our lives. This flow brings us joy, or frustration depending on what pathways have been established and how we direct our attention. Our emotions (Emotion = (E)nergy in Motion) are the indicators of the clarity of that path.


Unfortunately, most humans have been trained to approach a problem from the head, which effectively short-circuits this guidance system because there is little place for feeling in rational thought. The fantasies that are generated from this place of thinking cause rumination and stagnation. We are trying to function in a place of disconnection. Energetically speaking, is the metaphysical equivilant of banging our heads against a brick wall. Being attached to these fantasies saps the energy that could be joyfully flowing in the all the areas of our lives. This energy is not only the Universal-God-energy that Spritualists refer to, but our physical and psychological energy as well. Being lost in the fantasy means we are not tuned in to reality-and when reality eventually resurfaces we find that we have caused real damage to ourselves by our actions. The frustration and despondancy created by this paradigm can make us sick-in time, it can even kill us.


If there are many obstacles in the path to what we think we want, we dig in our heels and "try harder". We wrack our brains playing out scenario after scenario-we drive ourselves crazy with envisioning solutions and we give in to fear, anger and despair. We retreat to our heads and tell ourselves that our feelings do not matter as long as we reach the goal. We shame ourselves for those feelings, and that shame often spills over onto the others in our lives and we do not see them clearly. We are given to fits of paranoia and distrust. We see nothing clearly when in this state, and reality becomes grossly distorted. Even when the situations at hand cause us more pain than pleasure, we hang onto the hope that by holding ourselves in this place of stagnation we will somehow earn access to the desired object because we have been taught to equate success with suffering.

Many of you reading our words will even grow angry simply by reading them. Your ego will step in and you may become angry and lash out at the channel in your minds for posing information that puts the validity of your goals into question. This is a symptom of ego-control. Though the ego has its place, and we have given information previously through this channel to that effect, it was not created to be in control of Human Life. The ego makes a poor structure to promote the true flow of life.


We must learn to distinguish between our true path and one that we have chosen because it defines our ego in the manner that is indicated by the underlying structure of our adopted energetic pathways. We must understand that our ego will fight to perpetuate these fantasies and definitions even as that practise restricts the flow of energy and blinds us to the things that we do have access to. The ego forces the psyche into survival mode, and any attempt to change the ideas and beliefs that constitute the foundation of our struggle will cause us to manifest physiological symptoms-we may even feel as though we're dying. This is a trick used by the ego to hold us in the structures which do not permit the flow of energy.

When the importance of attaining the goal becomes dominant so that even our own suffering is not taken into account, it is time to re-examine the path.


A well known principle, sometimes known as Occam's Razor (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occam's_razor), when applied to this concept of energy flow, may give some insight into the underlying structure we are dealing with. In it, we are urged to examine other hypothese, or structural pathways for those which contain the fewest obstacles, or assumptions.

Understand that though all experiences occur ultimately for our benefit, becoming attached to a specific outcome, especially if you have had a negative emotional reaction to the words of the channel, is an indication that your ego is attempting to take control. You are, in effect, damming and constricting the flow of Universal forces through your Life.

In other words, when the path to a goal or desired outcome seems so cluttered with obstacles, debris, pitfalls and prior assumptions; and when we prefer the obsession of attaining the goal over the best way to re-access the flow of energy; the best option may be simply to choose a different path.

We realize that this may require more stringent self-examination and honesty than you are comfortable with. This will change with practice. Do not judge yourselves. When you begin to free yourself from the bondage of ego-control, other paths will become visible to you.

Thank you for your time and attention to this channel. Anghara hopes that this has been helpful and relevant and we look forward to re-emerging in your future.  We are your servants.

Just A Note:

When we say "I Love you.", what we are really saying is "you are someone who helps me to feel the joy that comes from being connected to the Infinate." This often leads us to believe that we must be in a relationship with someone to be happy. We believe that without this person, we would lose our connection and therefore, our Joy.
And, of course, since from our perspective it is that person who c...aused us to feel joy; we expect and pressure them to perform to be what it is that keeps us happy.

The Truth of it is, that you are *always* connected to the source of your Joy.
And the Irony is, that you are **really** only ready to Love someone when you can feel that connection to All-That-Is regardless of whether you are "with someone" or not.

Anything else is just fooling yourself.

A Channeling On Love

Love is selfless.
Love does not request for itself that which is not given by itself.  Love sees no difference between things.  What you give to others, you are also giving to yourself.  Do not ask of Love what you are not willing to provide yourself.  The Universe will reflect in equal or greater measure than what is given.  The Universe will also reflect in equal or greater measure than what is held back.

Love does not ask for sacrifice.
Imposing self-denial or limitation is not Love, it is seeking to be worthy of Love.  Love gives in equal measure.  Love does not limit possibilities; Love simply chooses without judgement that which is in accordance to its path. 

Love makes no promises. 
Love knows it is eternal.  Promising is not Love; it is an attempt to validate your worthiness of Love.  Love expands.  Expansion is growth.  Promises are static, statements that conditions will not change.  Lack of growth is not Love.  Love is constant, not static.  Love contains within itself the seeds of its future expressions.  Love evolves.  All that is contained within, evolves with it.

Love accepts.
Love does not apply itself to certain things and not to others. Love is inclusive and expansive.  Love honors all possibilities.  Love honors all expressions.  Love includes all aspects.  Love sees all experiences as a valid part of the whole of itself.  It does not forgive because does not hold to one experience over the other, so in its essence there is nothing to forgive.

Love allows.
A Love is about choices, not limitations.  Love provides all paths and holds you to none.  Love knows that the path you choose most naturally is the closest to who you are.   Adherence to a particular path; when presenting this action as proof of Love; is not Love.  It is an attempt to prove yourself worthy of Love, but not Love itself. 
Love inspires you upon a certain path because it is who you are, not because the following of that path proves your worthiness of your Love. 


Love is honest.
Love does not give value to one while holding onto another.   Love does not give itself to one while withholding itself from another. Love is consistent with itself.  Love does not choose circumstances or convenience over expression.  Love does not make expression dependent on its own state of being.  Love inspires honesty in all its dealings.  Seeking to support Love by practising self-denial is not Love-it is striving for worthiness.  Seeking to support Love by being dishonest with others and yourself is not Love-it is obsession.

Love supports.
Love does not seek to tear down what it does not understand; Love seeks to understand.  Love supports all-even if what is desired is to experience its own lack.

Love Inspires.
Love does not force itself on others; it leads by example.  Love creates the desire for harmony with itself and harmonizes effortlessly.  Love creates for the sake of itself, and what it inspires creates in kind.

Love is a mirror of ourselves.  Choose a Love that reflects the quality of unconditionally, for that shows you that this is what you feel for yourself.  Conditional Love accepted means that you have imposed and accepted conditions on yourself.  Unconditional Love accepted means that you are the embodiment of unconditional Love.   What you wish to see reflected to you must first be embodied by you.

Jumping to Conclusions, Landing With Your Foot In Your Mouth and Unconditional Love Starts With YOURSELF

We all know that kids will be kids.  This seems particularly true for the kids on my street who I have observed giving visitors to our area a difficult time.
Several weeks ago, my good friend Della visited with her 4 children.  While Della and I talked, her kids went outside to play and spotted the local children riding their bikes up and down the street.  Della has raised her children to be very open and giving; so it never occurred to them that the locals wouldn't simply welcome them into the games with open arms. 
Unfortunately, that was not the case.  You can imagine how this ended.  There was name calling, posturing, threats, lots of tears and some heart-to-heart between Della and her kids about differing vibrations, compassion, forgiveness and such.  All in all it was just the behavior I had expected from Della, her kids and the children who live in our neighborhood.

Now, there is one exception to the kids I see here and I'll call him Michael.  Michael is 13 years old and we have become good friends, so he was here when Della again visited with her children yesterday.  He had met her children briefly on that other day, they became friendly, and so it was natural that they all hung out together while they were here.
About two hours into this, Michael came back inside looking pretty upset.  It seemed that the local kids were out on the street, and though both groups wanted to him to play with them, they were refusing to play together.  He went on to relay that one of the kids had actually demanded he choose between his old friends and his new ones, and which side of the street to remain on.

Now when you're on the outside looking in, it is clear that those who try to force you to choose sides are on the side that you should avoid. And being familiar with the general disposition of the children on our street I was pretty liberal with the advice.  "Of course they would try that.", I said.  "That's the way they are, and though I understand that there really isn't anyone else around you have to think of what are you really missing if your friends treat you like that..."
That's when he said, "It was one of Della's kids."

Oi.

Now, given the prior treatment they had received at the hands of our neighbors, I wasn't surprised that a "yes vote" from Michael would be seen as a validation of their worth with regard to the ones who had dealt with them so rudely.  Of course I could understand, etc etc etc...but then I said to myself.....
"Gracie, think."
Why did I automatically assume that the problem stemmed from the other children?
Sounds pretty judgemental to me.
And in expecting their poor behavior, wasn't I, on some level, doing my part to perpetuate it?  Were there other things was I automatically passing judgement on?  Was I holding them in a negative pattern too?  And was I blythly offering advice in situations that were not as they seemed?

To be honest, I was pretty ashamed of my automatic reaction here.  I've studied Shamanism for 15 years, and I still get tripped up by ego-judgements and patterns of negative expectation.   I could certainly forgive kids for being kids, but I found it difficult to forgive myself.  I had somehow misplaced my Love for me.

Well, sometimes these Life Lessons come with a free ego-smack-down as a bonus and after some soul-searching, I chose to see this as a good thing.  As it turns out, Della's kids, the neighborhood children and Michael all taught me a very valuable lesson by highlighting my room for improvement.  From now on, I'll do my best to listen *first*, and try to hold ALL parties involved in an attitude of Love.  But perhaps more important, it offered experience in the process of forgiving myself.
That's where it all begins. 
If you can't love yourself unconditionally, you just can't love anyone else.  One follows the other. 
Forgive myself...ah yes, *there's* that Unconditional Love!
*sigh*
Found it...

How Attached Are You To Your Paradigm?

About a year ago, I got into a discussion on FaceBook with someone who was complaining about the way her bank was treating her. Also, she didn’t have this, and she didn’t have that etc. So I made some suggestions-like close your bank account if… you don’t like the fees-Don’t want to carry a lot of cash? Carry traveler’s checks (they spend like cash and are replaceable if stolen, and the fee to buy them is a LOT less than bank fees can be.)

Car payment $300 a month? Buy a car off of Craig’s list for $300 (that’s what I did and she lasted me 4 years). Shop at dollar tree, join freecycle. Don’t have a washer? Don’t want to pay for laundry? Trade babysitting for laundry privilages (that’s what I do). Pre-paid debit cards, to purchase online, Join a food program like SHARE where you trade community service for food packages (I tutored highschool kids in Biology for that). Get movies from the library or watch series on Hulu- the episodes generally come out a week behind.
Sound ideas, or so I thought.
She said she wouldn’t drive a “crappy car” or bother with traveler’s checks, no time for service as SHE was working. Only trailer trash shopped at Dollar Tree, she would absolutely NOT wait a week to see her favorite shows and be behind all her friends and there was no way SHE was going to “take care of anyone else’s brat for free”. Then she called me a beggar and unfriended me.
No big loss- to me. ;)

Many of our money troubles are caused by the economy to be sure, but moreso than that, many are caused by our reluctance to change. The point is, money is more than just a currency, it’s a paradigm. And it’s a paradigm that’s awfully hard to slip.