What Is All This Turmoil For Anyway?

The other day, a new friend asked me why so many people who were focused on the ascension process seemed to be going through such emotional turmoil.
I explained it like this:

It's a matter of density and how density affects reality. 
The world and physical reality as we know it are considered to be of "third density".  The less dense you become (going up the scale-we are in the process of moving from third to fourth density.), the faster reality responds to your thoughts.  So the process that appears to be emotional turmoil with regard to ascension is really the process of getting control of our own thoughts so we don't get stuck manifesting things out of fear when we become less dense.  We're peeling away the layers, discovering all the impediments to clear thought.  Huna calls this "cleaning out the tube"-meaning removing and healing all the thoughts and beliefs which alter our clear asking because you can have anything you desire to the degree that your belief system allows you to believe you can.

Take another look at my blog entry "Stop Filling in the Blanks".  In essence, it's about learning to recognize those hidden thoughts that come up in any given situation.  That's important.
Why? 
Because thoughts create emotions, and emotions create vibrations which, in turn, create your reality.
What do I mean? 
Imagine yourself suddenly at 4th density-a place where your thoughts manifest very, very quickly. Reality responds to your thoughts, so these hidden thoughts, such as "they hate me", "this happens to me every time because I'm not meant to succeed" and the like will be much more likely to come about for you.  You will experience situations in which you cannot succeed, and you will have experiences with people who act as though they dislike you.  If you hold a thought at this level like "I need a new car", but you ALSO hold a belief that goes "Nothing good ever lasts for me", what do you think will happen?
Well, you will probably get the car because you don't hold any belief that it won't come to you, BUT it will be likely to break down, or you may wreck it-whatever it is that fulfills your belief that it wasn't going to last anyway.
See?

(As a side note, if you're a Trekker like I am, as silly as this may sound, you can re-watch the Classic episode entitled "Shore Leave" to see an idea of what I'm talking about-or check out this link for a synopsis of the plot: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shore_Leave_(Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series))

Why do we equate this with emotional turmoil?

It's HARD to take a look at your whole self.  You're guaranteed to find things that shock you, beliefs that repulse you, thoughts that annoy you, disappointments, negative habits, assumptions that do not serve you, etc.  It's HARD to see these things, LOVE them, and accept them so you can change them.  It's HARD to admit that the biggest thing holding you back from all you desire in life is *yourself*.  It's HARD to realize that you had the choices all along, and HARD to be responsible for the ones you made.  And above all, it's HARD to realize that the only person who can change this for you is YOU.

So turmoil? Perhaps.
But certainly NOT a harbinger of doom.  It's just a necessary part of the ascension process.
What will you find when you begin to take a good look at yourself?
Well, I can only tell you this for sure; the first fear you have to eliminate is the fear to begin.

Namaste

Stop Filling In The Blanks

Because the Ego is continuously fighting for survival to justify its existence, it takes it upon itself to know everything- even when there is no information with which to form an opinion.  Its need to be in charge is so great that it supplies "facts" to make up for the unknown elements of a given situation. 
In other words; it just makes stuff up.
We are all involved in a constantly evolving story-line of our own creating.
This week, I had a first-hand opportunity to see how this can wreak havoc with my life.

It began with a flat tire.
Well, not completely flat, but on its way to that state.  The car, however, belonged to a friend of mine, and they informed me with a sense of utter certainty that someone had let the air out of the tire; and that this act was done in an attempt to "get back" at my friend for something.
Not that my friend "believed" someone had done this, but that someone had done it.

I took a look at the event, the realization that one tire was low on air, and decided that it didn't quite add up to evidence of a malicious act.  Why did they just take some of the air out?  Why did they only do this on one tire? Wouldn't someone who was being truly malicious want to cause the greatest amount of inconvenience to their victim?  Wouldn't they let the air out of all the tires-or, at the very least let all the air out of one tire?
But my friend was already caught up in the natural progression of thought which went something like this:
If one was to assume that someone let some of the air out of one of the tires, then there had to be a reason why. 
The reason why was obviously something negative.  They were trying to "get back" at my friend.  They were unfriendly people.  They were making a political statement.  They were ignorant.  etc etc etc....
That led to my friend to feel  disliked, unsafe and threatened. 

Now, hold on here.  We do not actually know what really happened.  But the owner of the car went automatically to the negative.  Is the preferred state of being to feel unsafe and threatened?  No, that certainly does not serve me.
Then why do it?

Well, it seemed obvious to me.
There was no reason to do it.
Knowing that people around me often reflected my own beliefs, I decided to take a look at myself, and Goodness, what a mess I found!

Turns out, I do the same thing on many, many subjects.  Someone didn't return a text because they must be mad at me.  Someone offered me a gift in order to buy me off in some way.  I didn't get asked to a place because my company is not as enjoyable as someone else's.  Someone didn't like my Facebook Post, I'm not as good as other people who post and get "liked".

Sheesh!

To show you what I mean, I'll take a specific entry from my journal:

Situation:
Someone didn't return a text.

Old Thoughts:
They are mad at me.  I've offended them somehow.  Other people probably get their texts returned right away.  I bet other people get lots of communication.  I am being excluded.  I am less worthy.  Something is being hidden from me.

Of course, none of this made me feel good about anything, in fact, thoughts like this often just brought me to tears.
So I continued;

It COULD be they are simply busy.
Perhaps other people are getting the same treatment.
Perhaps they have not gotten my message.
Perhaps they do not know how to answer.
They don't like to text.
They are having some quiet time.
The phone is not working.
I DO NOT KNOW WHY AND THAT'S OK

I release the need to know WHY-and I no longer fill in these blanks.  The event is neutral and even though I do not, at this time, see how it will work out positively, I accept that it will and leave it where it is.  The Universe is working hard to send me what I desire.  I'm getting a handle on this and as painful as it is to face, I'm proud that I have figured it out and I KNOW I have the strength to face it."

There could be any number of reasons, NONE of which pointed to anything negative about me or how I was being treated, but the point is not really to assign some specific meaning (though positive possibilities feel better than repeating the negative ones), it is to remember that there is no inherent pain in any given situation.  They are all neutral.  The meaning they have is what we assign to them.  Our physical mind is not designed to know and understand every little detail so stop forcing it to do something it isn't designed to do.
I went through my present thoughts and did a process like the above for every instance where I realized I was filling in the blanks for something I didn't know.
Even if you don't believe, as I do, that Reality is directed by your thoughts and vibration, why would you choose to suffer those negative thoughts before you really, REALLY have a reason?

And if you do agree with me about the nature of Reality, then you can see how putting out a vibe of negative expectation just causes those expectations to be realized.
Your mind is designed to take account of how things are happen-ING, NOT to determine how something happened or will happen.  It is a great, in-the-moment interpreter, and that's all it's supposed to be.  It functions best when we are in the present moment and there are many systems of belief that say the same thing.

Have faith that things happen for a reason, but don't knock yourself out or worse-make yourself cry, wondering what that reason is.  Just remember that when the time comes for you to know, and it will, that everything will become clear; and that reason will always turn out to be the very best for you. 
Whatever the actual reason behind the low tire, from my perspective it happened to bring another layer of myself to my attention so that it could be healed-and that turned out to be a very good thing.

Why help? *What* you do vs. *Why* you do it.

It is possible to be addicted to "helping people."
But seeing ourselves as "helpers" is an attachment to an identity, or ego-construct to which we ascribe a positive value that we do not feel that we otherwise possess. Thus by helping other people we are also fueling our own egos.
Helping people is what fills the void where self-worth *should* be.
When helping others is the only thing that makes us feel like a good person, we are really feeding an addiction.
We are using people to fill the hole in our own self-worth.

As long as we are in this ego-driven mode (being "helpful" because it's the only thing that makes us feel good), we will attract nothing but those who *need help*, and because the Universe can be very literal, they will always need help. In other words, since we continue to wish to "help", whatever aid we give will never be enough because we are perpetuating the idea that someone *NEEDS* help as opposed to the vision that that person is empowered on their own. You simply cannot help someone to NOT be the underdog, if you yourself are focusing on them as if they are.
By doing this, you are operating from a mind-set of scarcity, so what you will ultimately create is more scarcity.

So do we give up on being helpful?
Absolutely Not.
But what is important is WHY you do it. 
There are people who are so centered that they simply enjoy helping.  They *already* know of their own value and are not trying to make something up. They are helping from a place of compassion instead of a place of need.
I can't help but think that this is one reason there is such a high burn-out rate in social service and human service jobs (I did 10 years and that was enough). Like them, I was focused on fighting this injustice or that injustice and I got what I was focused on-more fighting and more injustice.
It's an interesting paradox that possibly the people most likely to go into this kind of work are the people who are the least likely to do any good and the most likely to burn out. 
( In my own defense I have to say that my career in Human Services took place 20 years ago before I changed my thinking)  But it is important to understand what your state of being is when you do. 

If you are *inspired* to help, it is a signal that you are within the Universal flow and whatever aid you do give will generate positive results.
If you feel *obligated* to help, chances are that this will not feel good to you, and that is an indication that your efforts will *not* generate anything but more effort.
Focusing on the problem, brings more of it.
Focusing on the fight brings more powerlessness.

Some people give energy by helping, and some take it away by doing the same thing. The difference is how balanced they are as people in their own right.
So be honest with yourself, and help people as long as it does not detract from your own happiness.
That is the only way you can attract those who can *truly* benefit from your help.

Faith

"It is inconceivable to me that a Universe in which anything is possible could present us with a life full of challenges without also giving us the means to overcome them."
- Grace Gemini

Positive Thinking is an oxymoron

A dear friend on Facebook posted this article:

http://www.salon.com/2012/11/25/positive_thinking_is_for_suckers/


 I was moved to post an answer, then again inspired to post it here.   Enjoy!

 ***********************************************************************************
The assumption that all people are at the mercy of their cyclical, negative thoughts with no hope in sight is very typical of Western brain-centric ideology. I agree that to approach the concept of happiness from that perspective is an uphill battle on wheels.
However, from a Spiritualist perspective-my perspective- thought exists to be used as a tool to generate the feelings of happiness that we aim for. This is why affirmations don’t work for most people. We can stomp across a stage or read positive statements til we’re blue in the face but if we don’t feel them; and more importantly train ourselves so we carry the positive feeling until it becomes habitual, they won’t work to make us happy. The less effort; the better. This “short circuits” those ruminant patterns of thought that can sabotage us. ( meditation is a great tool in helping individuals break these habits)

Author Gregg Braden has a very interesting story about his visit to a Tibetan Buddhist Monastery where he asks the abbot t about the importance of all the paraphernalia around the monks during their prayers. He was told that all the accoutrements are meaningless since they exist to generate the feeling, and “The Feeling is the Prayer.”
http://unslavedmedia.net/unslavedmedia/watch_video.php?v=Y4YKNMSAAOA8 (check around timer 8:18)

A good book that approaches this subject is called “The Heart’s Code”, by Author Paul Pearsall. Pearsall describes the American belief in the superiority of the brain, and puts forth a very convincing argument that it is just this kind of “positive thinking” that keeps most of us from the happiness we seek. He states that for most Americans, any kind of sentiment- and by that, I mean what is felt, not purchased from Hallmark- makes us very uncomfortable.

Happiness is effortless.
This is not to say that it does not take some focus to get there. Those who achieve it are those who have conditioned their "ambient thoughts" to a place of neutrality and acceptance-with a healthy dose of your Buddhist "non-attachment".

Where modern Spiritual seekers run afoul of concepts like the Law of Attraction, “Motivational Speakers” or The Secret, is by

1) Aiming for something that they think will make them happy (instead of aiming for the happiness itself)
2) assuming that it is the words alone that will give them the outcome they desire.

Therefore, Secret behind the Secret, and what I think Burkeman is saying here, is that what you are, in effect, reaching for (though “reaching” may be too active a word in this context) is the feeling of well-being in spite of the prevailing circumstance. When you are already enjoying the feeling, suddenly the outcome doesn’t mean as much.
Whatever gets you there is irrelevant.

In All Growth There Is Some Pain

Many people ask me why there is such pain involved in Spiritual Growth. The answer is simple, though difficult to hear;

In order to experience yourself as what you are, you must first experience what you are not.

This is part of the duality of the Universe and even Einstein was aware of it when he conceived his theory of relativity. In order for something to know itself, it must have something

to compare itself to.

In order to understand something in this Universe, there must be a starting point, and a point of comparison. To destroy something, it must first have been created. And to create something, it must be able to be created from a point of “being-not”.

In simple terms, this means that in order for you to know that you have the power of creation within you, you must first create. In order to create yourself, you must first un-create yourself. So what you were, must first be destroyed in order for you to create it.

Got it?

This is what is meant by the “Alpha and the Omega”, the beginning and the end. The two are connected and dependent on each other.

“But if I am a part of God, how can I not be what I am?”

I’m glad you asked that.

You can’t.

But you *can* forget, and in coming to this physical Universe to know experientially what you had previously only understood conceptually, you did just that. We are here to experience the process of coming to know who we are (or not), and to make the choices (or not) that lead us there.

This is why, what we experience is termed “re-membering”, because we are becoming again what we were. We are re-joining the whole of All-That-Is (which previously was “All That Was” until we added to it).

You exist.

You choose.

You emerge (here)

You experience

You destroy

You create

You remember.

You already know.

I’m just here to re-mind you.

On Repeating Numbers

 I've seen so many sites and it seems that a whole lot of people have put a whole lot of time into "defining" just what these numbers mean-books, websites, pamphlets, angels, specific meanings, blogs. wow.
Some of the "meanings" aren't really that positive from my perspective, "Your agels aren't with you" or "brace for change"-and sometimes that brings me down; so I decided to do it this way;
I told the Universe that coming across repeating numbers is simply an indication to me, sent by my higher self, that I'm ON THE RIGHT TRACK.
Thanks to all those people who spent so much time and effort in breaking it all down, and I'm sure that it works for them, but I'm not going to worry about what 9's mean, or if I prefer 3's to 5's-if I see them, I just know I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING, and I smile.
I have noticed that since I decided that, they are coming up a LOT more often!
I think I did the right thing.
:)

On Change

“I don’t waste time thinking about how I changed, what I changed or why I changed, I’m too busy being glad that I changed.”

—	Grace Gemini

So What Did You Really Love?

So, What Did You Really Love?

Let’s say that you go to a restaurant.
This place advertises that it serves the best nachos on the East Coast.  It’s advertised in the menu, and it might even be on that little lighted board that they sometimes put out on the sidewalk to catch the eye of people passing by.  You may have had them there before, or known someone else who just raved about them!  Either way, you are smiling on your way in the door.
When you get to a table, you feel pretty good!  You’re *really* looking forward to this meal.   And when you’re in a mood this good, everything else in life just seems to line up too.  So you sit down, and order the nachos, the waiter says “Coming right up.”
But they don’t show.
So after thirty minutes or so, you might ask again about the status of your order.  And again the water apologizes and says, “Just a few more minutes.”  This goes on for the better part of two hours, and finally you ask to see a manager who tells you “Oh, sorry-you see, that was a special occasion, we don’t make those any more.  In fact, we fired the chef who did, and the owner has such a thing against that jerk that we will never ever serve nachos again just because they remind the owner of the chef he didn’t like.  Sorry-but if you had asked, we would have told you so it’s really your fault for wasting your own time so don’t go thinking that you’ll get any discounts on something else.”
If the restaurant does not offer you what you wanted, and is unwilling to work with you-what do you do?
Do you continue to sit there, hoping that SOMEDAY they *might* decide to serve them again because they used to do it?  Do you blame yourself for believing in something that was promised to you. Perhaps you think that if you had been a better person, they might have made them for you anyway?  You might sit there, remembering the time you had the nachos, and order something else; pay more-enjoy it less, and think that you were lucky to have had nachos once and you should settle for what you can get now.  Some people might grab the menu, point to all the things advertised and yell “YOU PROMISED!”  Maybe they think that will guilt the manager into producing the food.
But that’s really sad.
You want to get up and go to a place that promises what you want-and comes through with those promises right?
Why then, do we hold ourselves in relationships that no longer come through with what was promised in the beginning?
When you ask someone why they remain in a relationship like this, they are likely to say, “Why, because I’m in love!”
But that begs the question-if what you are in love with is no longer a part of the menu-or what was offered is not, in truth, available from the partner-or never was; then just what do you love now? (not then, but now?)

You love the illusion of what you were being offered.  You love the memories.
You loved the way you felt.
Sit down for this one-
You loved the WAY YOU FELT.
You loved your vision of them.

BUT YOU DO NOT LOVE THEM.

You wanted to be with them because you felt better about yourself when you were.

But now you no longer feel good about yourself.
So now what?

The key is to realize that feeling good about yourself has NOTHING to do with them.
What a partner may do, temporarily, is motivate you to connect more strongly with your Inner Be-ing and it’s that CONNECTION TO YOURSELF that makes you feel good. Returning to our poor friend at the table, what happens is that eventually the menu changes.  The person changes.  And you are left without access to your connection, sitting around waiting for something to change so you can get it back.
Realizing that what you once loved no longer exists is hard.  You feel like a fool.  You want to do *something*-anything-to get back to that good feeling place you were once in.
This is a hard truth for many to stomach-no pun intended.  But the truth is; the ONLY one responsible for your connection is YOU-and once you practice a little, you can make that connection yourself, BY YOURSELF, any time you want regardless of who is with, or not with you.  And via Universal laws, once you are able to Love yourself-you will see that love reflected back to you in the people around you.
To put it as clearly as I can (at the moment):
You do NOT fall in Love with people.  You encounter people who remind you to fall in Love with yourself. And if they no longer do that, let them eat cake.

On Children

"We absolutely must allow our children to be who they are, and love them regardless of whether or not who they are matches up with who we would have them be."
-Grace Gemini

Fate

Fate doesn't give us what we want.  We get what we didn't know we needed.  When it happens, you will look back on all that you have suffered and you will not want to change a single thing that got you to this place because in the end, all that matters is your own peace.
The most precious gift of life is the peace that stems from loving all of who you are.

On prayer

"The most powerful prayer a person can offer is simply to say 'thank you'; and mean it."

-Grace Gemini

The best of us

"Do not thank someone in your life for bringing out the best in you, because that feeling will only last as long as they do. Thank the one who teaches you to bring out the best in *yourself* because that will last long after they're gone."

-Grace Gemini

There is no Hate.

"We Love. We are Love. We can't help but Love, and in a Universe of attraction all the can happen is that we allow Love in our lives or we do not. Hate is the disallowing of Love."

-Grace Gemini

When a relationship doesn't work out

"The laws of the Universe work perfectly; without exception. We are vibrational beings and we attract those things, beings, relationships and situations that match our own vibration.
In other words, if that thing you think you were looking for was a perfect vibrational match to what you really wanted, there would be no obstacles to it, and it would still be there. If it is not there, it was not what you were really looking for. The only obstacles in our lives are the ones we put there ourselves. What matches us stays in our lives- what does not match us moves away. Perfectly; without exception."
-Grace Gemini

What is meant to be

"There is no "meant to be". All that determines what happens in your life is what you want, how much you want it, and how purely you believe in its happening."
-Grace Gemini

"Real Love doesn't save you-it cheers you on while you learn to save yourself."

-Grace Gemini

On perfection

"If someone tells you that a relationship is perfect for them "in spite of the shit", then it's not perfect. If they truly thought it was perfect, it wouldn't even occur to them to say "in spite of"."

-Grace Gemini

True Teachers

"The greatest Teachers do not say "Worship me". They do not say "Follow me."
The greatest Teachers said "Be LIKE me."
They are not interested in creating "followers", they are creating EQUALS."
-Grace Gemini

Fear

"Fear is what takes us out of the present moment. When you are afraid, you are thinking about something that has happened, or worrying about something that may happen.
When you are out of the present moment, you are off your path. Your mind will play tricks on you. The rational mind will begin to search for reasons and evidence to support the fear it feels. You become reactionary instead of responsible.
Don't worry about this, it happens from time to time. You are always able to stop, take a breath and re-focus on the present moment. You are always able to begin again."
-Grace Gemini