Dog-nabbit

Yesterday I posted an entry concerning the memories and synchronicity that had been manifesting around me.  (You can read that here:  http://grace-in-search-of-grace.blogspot.com/2014/07/dog-gone.html  )

I was at a loss as to why this was coming up now

Well, this morning I had a sort of epiphany.
In addition to the dog videos that have come across my path, there have also been a number of recent cases where I have been asked to assist in the re-homing of a pet.
The most recent was just this morning, in fact.

Now, I don't really consider myself to be an Animal Activist, but one thing that deeply saddens me is the thought of an animal being unwanted.  Without getting into the reasons behind this (that's for another entry!) I resonate strongly with that feeling.

Looking back on this, I realized that there was, indeed, a connection to the processing that I began not too long ago.  So now, it is clear that the thought of an unwanted animal really ties into my own feelings of abandonment.  After all, what is more forsaken than a companion animal who is taken into a home with the inherent obligation that that action includes a life-time of love and care, only to be left by the people it loves.

I've seen stories and videos of companion animals living in the garage next to the house they used to live in for as long as two years, waiting for their deceased owners to return.  I do not know if animals are capable of the kind of processing necessary to understand and integrate the experience, but I'm sure that the loss does not go unnoticed.

The memory that came up is all tangled up in the feelings of abandonment/forsaken/unwanted/bereft-and, perhaps not-so coincidentally, all these words have come up in my journal work in recent weeks.

I find that I have a passion for connecting abandoned companion animals with new owners who will Love them.  Obviously, in doing that, I am attempting to ameliorate some of my own energetic baggage.

The experience with my neighbor's dog coming up at this time, also makes sense to me now.

As humans, we do not really possess a "thinking body" until we are about 8 years old.  Before that age, we simply feel, and sometimes as we get older, we are left with memories that consist of feelings and emotions but have no real words associated with them.
The current "Me" has the sophistication to understand that it may be gentler and more loving to let an animal go.  There are pain and quality of life issues that need to be addressed, and I can deal with that now.
But, the 7 year old "Then Me" did not have those intellectual  resources.
As far as I knew, Duffy was taken away because he was old.  I didn't see why that was necessary-my grandparents were old, and nobody was taking *them* away.  I must have found it terribly unfair.  I must have thought that he was simply unwanted, and that it was tragic to be put out simply for that reason when *I* sure wanted him.

I guess it's a good thing for something that I had obviously shut out for so long to come up for integration.
I guess it's a good thing to have just that much more understanding of why I do things the way I do.  
I guess it's a good thing to become more familiar with who I really am.
I guess I have reasons now to be grateful for those experiences which led to it all.

Sooo.....
Godspeed Duffy, King, Dukey, Shoep, Je-ju, Mitsy, Bell, Snowball, Zephyr, and all the others.

And, Thank you.

Dog-gone.

I'm sure there is a reason for this, but frankly, that doesn't make it any easier.

Lately, I've been spending a lot of time trying some techniques for integration. (If in the unlikely event, you don't know what I mean, watch this:)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3V_Gtfr_YA&list=PLoME_J8FevCD481r3UzlI7tdd1i3WsqBt&feature=player_embedded



One thing that gets mentioned a lot is that while involved in a process like this, old memories come up; and the occasional suppressed memory tags along for the ride.
I'm an animal activist, and recently, Synchronicity has put two videos in front of my face, both about dogs and their bond with their owners when the dog becomes ill and must leave this life. One was about a dog named "Dukey" and another about a dog named "Shoep". You can probably find them online if you really want to.

As if *that* wasn't enough to make me cry-and it did.
A lot-
Continuously.
Emotionally.
You get the point...
I remembered something from my childhood.
I was not allowed to have pets as a child, though I wanted one desperately. I became close to the dog across the street, a yellow lab named Duffy, and I visited him almost every day. His owner, Mrs. Olen, was an elderly woman and she was always very kind to me.
One day, when I was about 7, I remember getting into my mother's car, with Mrs. Olen and Duffy in the back seat. This was unusual as animals were never allowed in the cars.
I have a very clear vision of looking over my shoulder into Duffy's eyes and asking what was going on. My mother said we were taking Duffy to the vet, and she wouldn't say anything else.
I don't remember a single thing about that day aside from those 3 minutes although I'm sure I must have gone to the vet and waited with my mother to drive Mrs. Olen (and presumably, Duffy) home but search as I might, I cannot recall it.

But I am certain now, because the feelings I felt watching these two videos were identical to the feelings I felt when Duffy suddenly wasn't across the street any more, that it was on that day years ago that we took Duffy to be put to sleep.

I think I disassociated from the grief I must have felt then, and guess what guys! It's coming up NOW in the aftermath of having come across those two videos.
Poor Duffy. Maybe if I had had the strength to remain focused at the time, I might have made his transition easier, I might have said goodbye, I might have had some closure.
But I didn't.

Just *why* this memory is apparently so important to relive isn't clear, but it's apparent that there is a lesson in there somewhere. What might you tell that child who was in the car, with a good friend about to die, and wasn't aware enough to be of any help?
It has been a really rough and raw couple of days-does anyone have any insight into this?

In the image of...

I mean no offense to my friends of alternative faiths by using the word "God". By that, I mean The Universe and All That Is.

Please bear with me.
This came across my nose today, mulling it over.

What if the name of God that we are familiar with from the Book of Moses, "I am that I am", is really- "I AM that, I am."

The first way, God is saying that "I am whatever it is that I am" and we don't get to know what that is.

But the other way, God is saying that it is Everything in existence that you could look at. The wall, the tree, the person next to me, the grass-I am THAT, I am!

Ahhhh...all for the presence of a simple comma...
Today as I walk around, I will great everything I see with "I am that, I am."

I will also look INSIDE myself, and whatever I find, no matter how much I dislike it, I will say "I am that, I am".

"What Is This World Coming To?"

This is a question that someone recently asked of me.
"I can answer that, but you won't like it.", I said.
"Tell me anyway.", they said.

OK...here goes.

In recent times, it seems that there has been an increase in unpleasant happenings.  We look at the news coming from Boston (my home town) and other places, and at first glance it looks as though the state of the world is going down the drain. 

Now pay attention to what I said; "AT FIRST GLANCE".
But think.
Many of you know and understand that we are in the midst of a global shift in consciousness.  But what some don't realize is that in order for this shift to occur, there has to be a motivation.  In other words, every improvement in the world that has ever taken place has happened because someone recognized a thing or situation that they did not prefer and focused on an improved version of it. 
"But why so much?" you ask...

Well, in order for someone to care about changing the unwanted thing, it must be relevant to their lives.  Of course what happens to Boston is relevant to Bostonians, but is it relevant to those living in Michigan?  Is what happens in Michigan relevant to Californians?
Not so much.

So, in order for the entire world to shift the way in which they view reality there must be events that provide the inspiration in many different areas and on many different levels.  And, since time is speeding up (actually it only appears that way but more on that in another post), it appears that these negative incidents are happening more frequently.

The important thing here is to focus on HOW we are dealing with these events. 
Do we choose to focus on blame and revenge?  Do we responded by promoting fear-based programming and become fearful ourselves?
For my part, I chose to look at the recent events in Boston and made the decision to see the larger picture. 
It was a picture which illustrated the process of the unwanted giving rise to the wanted.  In other words, I was able to understand that it was exactly this type of event that makes possible the tremendously powerful coming together of peoples looking to create something better.  It was a strange feeling-this thought that , on some level, I might feel some form of gratitude to those who had caused so much suffering; but when I understood that I had been given an opportunity to learn more about compassion if I so chose, I learned to appreciate the lesson. 

I try to look at all episodes of negativity this way.  Perhaps I'm just noticing it more because it has been such a focus for me, but during this global shift I'm finding that more and more often others have followed suit.
By doing this, there is no negative situation that cannot give birth to something positive. 

Violent episodes, like the one in Boston, have no meaning aside from the meaning we assign to it.  What we take from the experience becomes more important than the experience itself.

So..."what is this world coming to?"

I, for one, am pretty optimistic.  :)

Why help? *What* you do vs. *Why* you do it.

It is possible to be addicted to "helping people."
But seeing ourselves as "helpers" is an attachment to an identity, or ego-construct to which we ascribe a positive value that we do not feel that we otherwise possess. Thus by helping other people we are also fueling our own egos.
Helping people is what fills the void where self-worth *should* be.
When helping others is the only thing that makes us feel like a good person, we are really feeding an addiction.
We are using people to fill the hole in our own self-worth.

As long as we are in this ego-driven mode (being "helpful" because it's the only thing that makes us feel good), we will attract nothing but those who *need help*, and because the Universe can be very literal, they will always need help. In other words, since we continue to wish to "help", whatever aid we give will never be enough because we are perpetuating the idea that someone *NEEDS* help as opposed to the vision that that person is empowered on their own. You simply cannot help someone to NOT be the underdog, if you yourself are focusing on them as if they are.
By doing this, you are operating from a mind-set of scarcity, so what you will ultimately create is more scarcity.

So do we give up on being helpful?
Absolutely Not.
But what is important is WHY you do it. 
There are people who are so centered that they simply enjoy helping.  They *already* know of their own value and are not trying to make something up. They are helping from a place of compassion instead of a place of need.
I can't help but think that this is one reason there is such a high burn-out rate in social service and human service jobs (I did 10 years and that was enough). Like them, I was focused on fighting this injustice or that injustice and I got what I was focused on-more fighting and more injustice.
It's an interesting paradox that possibly the people most likely to go into this kind of work are the people who are the least likely to do any good and the most likely to burn out. 
( In my own defense I have to say that my career in Human Services took place 20 years ago before I changed my thinking)  But it is important to understand what your state of being is when you do. 

If you are *inspired* to help, it is a signal that you are within the Universal flow and whatever aid you do give will generate positive results.
If you feel *obligated* to help, chances are that this will not feel good to you, and that is an indication that your efforts will *not* generate anything but more effort.
Focusing on the problem, brings more of it.
Focusing on the fight brings more powerlessness.

Some people give energy by helping, and some take it away by doing the same thing. The difference is how balanced they are as people in their own right.
So be honest with yourself, and help people as long as it does not detract from your own happiness.
That is the only way you can attract those who can *truly* benefit from your help.

On empowerment

"Empowerment is, in part, the ability to look at reality and say 'I know what I want, I deserve what I want, and this isn't it.'; and then walking away because you realize that you don't need it to be happy."
-Grace Gemini

Are you? Am I?

Someone on a dating site recently told me that I was “Emotionally Unavailable” because of the way I worded my profile.
Specifically, he took issue with my identification as “monogamous” and “seeing someone” relative to the fact that I still had a profile on the site in the first place.  He said that by maintaining an active profile, I was doing nothing more than “setting up other men for eventual disappointment when they find that they can not occupy a place in (my) your emotions”
This guy has no idea who I am, and so this kind of pissed me off.  But he struck a nerve-and after my shock at the strength my own reaction, I took another look at myself.
Was it true?
My partner (for lack of a better choice of labels) is not monogamous, and I accept him completely and without reservation.
Being monogamous myself, this means I get challenged emotionally.  
A Lot.
It’s not easy to be brave, or to stay positive; and sometimes frankly I get frustrated.  Sure, I could conceivably go searching for someone who thought exactly the way I do.  Perhaps I’d even find him, and maybe it would be pleasant.  Add that to the other issues involved in living my life-financial, health, and emotional  woes included, and maybe it *would* be easier to function by shutting down completely. 
But I don’t.
I asked myself “What would it be like to have an easy life?”
And my immediate thought was; “But where’s the growth in that?”
Where’s.
The.
Growth.
In.
That.
I chose this relationship, as I’ve chosen many other things in my life, in part for the growth it provides.  I choose because I see and understand that there are many different ways of living a life.  From his comment, I see that “Mr. Unavailable” sees things in more rigid terms.  If A is correct, then B is incorrect-so to speak.  There is nothing really wrong with that, but I have a different perspective where both A and B are correct, nothing is really exclusive.
I’ll be the first one to admit that monogamous and non-monogamous creates an unusual pairing.  My partner and I catch static from both sides. It takes some work.  In order to communicate my needs to someone who is occasionally focused elsewhere, I need to be in touch with my own feelings.  I need to know what stems from a situation and what might be concerned more with some insecurity on my part.  I need to be alert and sensitive to his signals when perhaps more space is needed.  I need to be adept at identifying the thought patterns that do not serve me, and finding the things that I really enjoy doing to stay centered.
In other words, in order to function on all these levels it is absolutely essential that I remain aware and open emotionally
I have to have the strength to realize who I am and admit it, even though it might be more comforting to bow to outside pressure, or fool myself into believing that I’m something I’m not.  And I see my partner for who he is, though it may be tempting to soothe myself with the thought and false hope that somehow I could “change” him.
Sure, I’m scared. I could get hurt.  But I’m learning as I go.  So is he.
So far, so good.
So, you see, Mr. “Emotionally Unavailable”, I understand where you are coming from.  I understand that your comment was an expression of fear-nobody wants to get hurt.  And hopefully now you see that my profile here is less of an attempt to “set people up for failure” and more of a testament to my belief in the value of all individuals to add to a life-even if it’s not sexually.
It’s not easy, but I do it and have faith that whatever happens will be for the best.
Can’t be more open than that.

The Gift. Happy Holiday's To All

An older story, but still relevant.  I hope you Enjoy it!



A little boy sat on the living room floor with legs crossed, deep in thought.
Colorful scraps of paper, glittering confetti and curling ribbon attached to pieces of Scotch tape lay crumpled and strewn in chaotic piles around his knees. He stretched out a slippered foot and sullenly kicked at a bit of the stuff, turning it
over with his toes. The call of discarded wrapping paper shown red, green and gold. It glimmered cheerily in the lights of the tree and the fireplace, but did nothing to brighten his mood.
Another happily squashed wad of paper landed nearby and the boy looked up to the source of the litter. All the other family members had already opened their presents, and how it was his mother's turn.

"Oh John! It's Beautiful!" she exclaimed with delight. "I have wanted something like this for just the longest time!" She held the box in her hands, lovingly pulled out the expensive bracelet inside and held out her arm to her husband who was
sitting next to her on the couch. "Put it on me, wont you dear?"
The diamonds winked and twinkled on her wrist as her hands moved across the various boxes and packages still arranged in neat piles within easy reach. One by one the festive wrappings were torn away to reveal their wondrous contents. There was a big, fluffy bathrobe with matching slippers in just that shade of blue that matched mother's eyes from sister Amanda. They sat on the boxes of matching note-cards, pen and address book from Grandma which were covered in pansies; his mother's favorite flower.
There were pearl earrings from Aunt Julia, and a new, fine leather brief case from brother Jim. At last there were only two items left. The woman smiled as she reached for a tall, square package; this one wrapped neatly in silver paper covered in blue stars. The box was topped with a loopy blue and silver ribbon so huge that it nearly covered the entire top of the box. The whole family oooooohed and ahhhhed over the magnificent wrapping; but that was nothing compared to their reaction when the box was opened. Inside the beautiful paper, swaddled in confetti and bubble-wrap, was a china plate.
This was not just any porcelain plate, but a very expensive and delicate one. It had cranes painted on it. Oriental ladies fanned themselves and strolled under blossoming cherry trees, across a bridge that spanned a lovely little river. Water lilies floated in the water, and their blooms were painted in colors so delicate that the little boy thought he could almost reach out and pick one. The inside of the plate was creamy white, and the rim was painted in gold that shone brightly in the light of the
fireplace.
"This is too much," said mother. She ran her hand over the edge, taking in the smooth coolness under her fingertips. She turned the plate over in her hands, watching the way the light played across the translucent finish.
"I have never seen anything so beautiful!" she cried. "This is the best Christmas ever!" She stood up and gently lifted the plate and placed it on the mantle in between a pair of silver candlesticks. She stepped back to admire it and smiled. Then she sat down once again and reached for the last present.

This package was different from all the rest. It had a bow made from many bits of different colored yarn that was tied around wrapping paper made from a brown paper grocery bag. Stars and swirls of color were drawn all over the paper in crayon; the artist seemingly determined to use every color in the crayon box. This box was not wrapped as neatly as the others; its corners were not perfectly crisp and the tape stuck out in places. Nevertheless, she lifted it gingerly into her lap and opened it with care.
Inside the rather sorry-looking wrapping was an even sorrier-looking item. It was a pot made of clay.
"What's this?" she asked, lifting the pot from its box and turning it over in her hands. "Is this for me?" The poor little pot was thicker on one side than the other and was painted with bright yellow and orange flowers that could only be described as "noisy". The rim of the pot, if indeed the pot had a rim, was painted blue with yellow spots. There were thumb-prints dried into the bottom and it didn't sit quite straight on the table. It leaned to one side in a way that looked
to the little boy as if the clay had partially melted.  Mother held it out at arm's length, blue eyes scanning the lumpy clay. "Did you make this for me?" she said, smiling to the little boy.
"Yes", he nodded looking nervously at the floor. He had spent a whole afternoon on it. His eyes traveled to the mantle where the china plate sat, gleaming regally.
"But it.s not very good". He said.
"Not very good?! Well I think it.s wonderful." Said mother. She reached out and ruffled the boy's unruly hair. She carried the little pot to the kitchen where she placed it on the table. It wobbled just a little, but otherwise stayed put.

In time the holidays passed as holidays do, and the little boy grew up as little boys do. Through the years, the beautiful china plate with the cranes and ladies on it stayed on the mantle; and the little boy.s mother dusted it once a week. When
people visited, she always took them to see the mantle where the plate stood between the candlesticks.
"This is my beautiful china plate", she told them. "I got it for Christmas but we mustn't use it. It's much too delicate." The company nodded solemnly and moved on.
When the children grew up, and left to start families of their own, Mother and Father decided to move to a smaller house. The beautiful china plate was lovingly and carefully wrapped up in its bubble-wrap and confetti and placed into the new
attic along with the candle sticks, and other boxes filled with photo albums and baby clothes that had long been outgrown. When the little boy, who was not so little any more, came to visit he found the old, lumpy clay pot filled with apples
and sitting on the dining room table. The noisy little flowers were faded now, and somebody had glued a little piece of cork to the bottom so that the pot no longer wobbled. "I didn't think you had kept this", he said thinking sullenly back to that morning with the tree and the china plate, where was that plate anyway?
He looked around.
No plate.
"Oh dear!!" Mother laughed. "I don't know what I'd do without my little clay pot!"
She removed the fruit and turned the pot over lovingly. "It still has your little thumb prints here all over the bottom! This pot used to have all my paper clips in it. Do you remember when it sat on Father's desk?"
The young man nodded.
"And I planted grandma's pansies in it, before they got too big in the Spring."
She went on, "And last Summer we filled it with sand and used it to prop open the
screen door! I kept my gardening supplies in it this Fall and it held down the paper
on my desk when I was working on the Christmas cards. Last week I had it filled
with pens and pencils by the phone! This pot has been the best present I've
ever gotten, and you made it for me all by yourself!"
The young man smiled and put the pot back on the table. He took a bite out of an
apple, then, whistling happily, he followed his mother into the kitchen for something to drink.

On Meditation

"Many people think that meditation is the process of training the mind. I prefer to think of it as a process by which we learn to percieve with the heart without the conscious or unconscious judgement and self-editing of the human mind. When someone says "keep this in mind", I think "Take this to heart" because I think that the heart is really the seat of Human intelligence and the key to global consciousness."
-Grace Gemini

Faith

"It is inconceivable to me that a Universe in which anything is possible could present us with a life full of challenges without also giving us the means to overcome them."
- Grace Gemini

Positive Thinking is an oxymoron

A dear friend on Facebook posted this article:

http://www.salon.com/2012/11/25/positive_thinking_is_for_suckers/


 I was moved to post an answer, then again inspired to post it here.   Enjoy!

 ***********************************************************************************
The assumption that all people are at the mercy of their cyclical, negative thoughts with no hope in sight is very typical of Western brain-centric ideology. I agree that to approach the concept of happiness from that perspective is an uphill battle on wheels.
However, from a Spiritualist perspective-my perspective- thought exists to be used as a tool to generate the feelings of happiness that we aim for. This is why affirmations don’t work for most people. We can stomp across a stage or read positive statements til we’re blue in the face but if we don’t feel them; and more importantly train ourselves so we carry the positive feeling until it becomes habitual, they won’t work to make us happy. The less effort; the better. This “short circuits” those ruminant patterns of thought that can sabotage us. ( meditation is a great tool in helping individuals break these habits)

Author Gregg Braden has a very interesting story about his visit to a Tibetan Buddhist Monastery where he asks the abbot t about the importance of all the paraphernalia around the monks during their prayers. He was told that all the accoutrements are meaningless since they exist to generate the feeling, and “The Feeling is the Prayer.”
http://unslavedmedia.net/unslavedmedia/watch_video.php?v=Y4YKNMSAAOA8 (check around timer 8:18)

A good book that approaches this subject is called “The Heart’s Code”, by Author Paul Pearsall. Pearsall describes the American belief in the superiority of the brain, and puts forth a very convincing argument that it is just this kind of “positive thinking” that keeps most of us from the happiness we seek. He states that for most Americans, any kind of sentiment- and by that, I mean what is felt, not purchased from Hallmark- makes us very uncomfortable.

Happiness is effortless.
This is not to say that it does not take some focus to get there. Those who achieve it are those who have conditioned their "ambient thoughts" to a place of neutrality and acceptance-with a healthy dose of your Buddhist "non-attachment".

Where modern Spiritual seekers run afoul of concepts like the Law of Attraction, “Motivational Speakers” or The Secret, is by

1) Aiming for something that they think will make them happy (instead of aiming for the happiness itself)
2) assuming that it is the words alone that will give them the outcome they desire.

Therefore, Secret behind the Secret, and what I think Burkeman is saying here, is that what you are, in effect, reaching for (though “reaching” may be too active a word in this context) is the feeling of well-being in spite of the prevailing circumstance. When you are already enjoying the feeling, suddenly the outcome doesn’t mean as much.
Whatever gets you there is irrelevant.

For Those Of You Who Are Becoming Real

FOR THOSE WHO ARE BECOMING REAL:

 “Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit


 
All higher consciousness asks the same question; “Who are you, What are you?”
To answer this, we often begin by applying the appealing qualities of others onto our self-image like a patch on a pair of jeans.  This is who I am.
When we realize that, in spite of our efforts, those parts we emulate in others remain outside ourselves, we begin to search for the qualities that are truly embodied within ourselves.
Sometimes we discover within us the same facets we admired in others; and sometimes not.  But we always feel a little silly when we realize that we have lived life in its most superficial sense.  It is exhausting, because we are taking unto ourselves, the weight of those things that do not belong to us.
There is no shame in this.
We are designed to learn through our associations with others.
It is your experiences that teach you-words do not teach, connections teach.  When you are waking up, and carrying only what truly belongs to you, other connections do not drain you, and you suddenly realize how important those connections truly are.
They become your wings.

 

When Life Gets Rough, Remember Why You Are Here.

You’re here to *learn* things.

Not to know things.

That’s a very important distinction.

You’re not here to *know* lessons-you’re not here so that this information magically appears inside your head.

...

It was the *process* of learning that was important to you, with all it’s delays, issues and effort and pain. Have faith that everything you experience is a part of that learning- the reason that you are here.

The journey *IS* the destination. So relish it.

On Change

“I don’t waste time thinking about how I changed, what I changed or why I changed, I’m too busy being glad that I changed.”

—	Grace Gemini

So What Did You Really Love?

So, What Did You Really Love?

Let’s say that you go to a restaurant.
This place advertises that it serves the best nachos on the East Coast.  It’s advertised in the menu, and it might even be on that little lighted board that they sometimes put out on the sidewalk to catch the eye of people passing by.  You may have had them there before, or known someone else who just raved about them!  Either way, you are smiling on your way in the door.
When you get to a table, you feel pretty good!  You’re *really* looking forward to this meal.   And when you’re in a mood this good, everything else in life just seems to line up too.  So you sit down, and order the nachos, the waiter says “Coming right up.”
But they don’t show.
So after thirty minutes or so, you might ask again about the status of your order.  And again the water apologizes and says, “Just a few more minutes.”  This goes on for the better part of two hours, and finally you ask to see a manager who tells you “Oh, sorry-you see, that was a special occasion, we don’t make those any more.  In fact, we fired the chef who did, and the owner has such a thing against that jerk that we will never ever serve nachos again just because they remind the owner of the chef he didn’t like.  Sorry-but if you had asked, we would have told you so it’s really your fault for wasting your own time so don’t go thinking that you’ll get any discounts on something else.”
If the restaurant does not offer you what you wanted, and is unwilling to work with you-what do you do?
Do you continue to sit there, hoping that SOMEDAY they *might* decide to serve them again because they used to do it?  Do you blame yourself for believing in something that was promised to you. Perhaps you think that if you had been a better person, they might have made them for you anyway?  You might sit there, remembering the time you had the nachos, and order something else; pay more-enjoy it less, and think that you were lucky to have had nachos once and you should settle for what you can get now.  Some people might grab the menu, point to all the things advertised and yell “YOU PROMISED!”  Maybe they think that will guilt the manager into producing the food.
But that’s really sad.
You want to get up and go to a place that promises what you want-and comes through with those promises right?
Why then, do we hold ourselves in relationships that no longer come through with what was promised in the beginning?
When you ask someone why they remain in a relationship like this, they are likely to say, “Why, because I’m in love!”
But that begs the question-if what you are in love with is no longer a part of the menu-or what was offered is not, in truth, available from the partner-or never was; then just what do you love now? (not then, but now?)

You love the illusion of what you were being offered.  You love the memories.
You loved the way you felt.
Sit down for this one-
You loved the WAY YOU FELT.
You loved your vision of them.

BUT YOU DO NOT LOVE THEM.

You wanted to be with them because you felt better about yourself when you were.

But now you no longer feel good about yourself.
So now what?

The key is to realize that feeling good about yourself has NOTHING to do with them.
What a partner may do, temporarily, is motivate you to connect more strongly with your Inner Be-ing and it’s that CONNECTION TO YOURSELF that makes you feel good. Returning to our poor friend at the table, what happens is that eventually the menu changes.  The person changes.  And you are left without access to your connection, sitting around waiting for something to change so you can get it back.
Realizing that what you once loved no longer exists is hard.  You feel like a fool.  You want to do *something*-anything-to get back to that good feeling place you were once in.
This is a hard truth for many to stomach-no pun intended.  But the truth is; the ONLY one responsible for your connection is YOU-and once you practice a little, you can make that connection yourself, BY YOURSELF, any time you want regardless of who is with, or not with you.  And via Universal laws, once you are able to Love yourself-you will see that love reflected back to you in the people around you.
To put it as clearly as I can (at the moment):
You do NOT fall in Love with people.  You encounter people who remind you to fall in Love with yourself. And if they no longer do that, let them eat cake.

A Walmart Tale

Several months ago, while I was sitting on a bench waiting for a friend to complete her shopping at Walmart, I had a chance to chat with a lovely older lady who was sharing my seat.  We discussed our day and it came up in conversation-as it often seems to between perfect strangers and I- that she had been having a bad time recently and I said, ” I’m so sorry to hear that.  Do you have anything pleasant to focus on at all?”  Unfortunately she answered “No.”
So I gave her my bracelet.
It was a silly thing I had made, a coil-wrap wire bracelet with bright beads and charms on it.  It had a little guy in a space suit on one end and a charm of the space shuttle on the other and I chose the beads because they reminded me of planets.  I said, “Well, now you can say that you got a gift from a complete stranger!”  And she smiled.
A few days ago, I was at Walmart again, and a somewhat younger lady was at the pharmacy waiting in line with me for medicine and I happened to look at her wrist and noticed my bracelet.  I asked her where she got it, and she said “My mother gave it to me.  I was having a bad day and she said she got it from an angel on a day when she was having a rough time, and it would make me smile when I looked at it too.”
Everything is working out just the way it’s supposed to.

A Thankless Job

Last night, I did a distance healing for someone who I know will never thank me for it.  I opened his heart chakra, pulled out all the gunk and replaced it with Love, Peace and Clarity.
I think it worked.

On Children

"We absolutely must allow our children to be who they are, and love them regardless of whether or not who they are matches up with who we would have them be."
-Grace Gemini

Fate

Fate doesn't give us what we want.  We get what we didn't know we needed.  When it happens, you will look back on all that you have suffered and you will not want to change a single thing that got you to this place because in the end, all that matters is your own peace.
The most precious gift of life is the peace that stems from loving all of who you are.

The best of us

"Do not thank someone in your life for bringing out the best in you, because that feeling will only last as long as they do. Thank the one who teaches you to bring out the best in *yourself* because that will last long after they're gone."

-Grace Gemini